“Bizarre” is about the only word to describe it. It’s the same week of the same month that Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast back in 2005. Now they’re talking about Gustav hitting New Orleans.

If you live there and survived Katrina, you have got to be feeling extremely anxious right now, because truthfully, as this CNN raw video of Gustav arriving in Jamaica shows, nothing can stop the sea. Those retaining walls are holding back that water because the water wishes it.

Here’s hoping that the damage is minimal.

This morning might be a good time to revisit some truly shocking numbers and facts. The Hurricane Katrina FAQ has a lot of information. It seems that the government has learned its lesson as well; both the mayor of New Orleans and the governor of Louisiana have been given lots of face time on television, telling folks to prepare. But, like they both stated in various news conferences I’ve seen, it’s up to the citizens to save their own hides.

I saw one clip of a couple on their way to a Saints game. The guy’s comment: “We’ll make our decision tomorrow.” I hope that gives them enough time.

Fink out (watchin’ the weather radar).

…she says, in her best Chris Farley voice.

I’m still trying to find the words to describe the bizarro/creepy/tear-down-the-entire-house-to-change-a-friggin-light-bulb factor of yesterday’s post comment. Let’s just call it “special.” I had thoughts of deleting it, preferring only positive karma in Finkville, but I decided to keep it for posterity’s sake. Who knows, maybe someone will need that information someday….anyway, I’ve edited the post to remove all traces of the fact that I did not post his complete resumé or know his correct album count (whatzat tell ya, sweety?). I live to avoid offending tender sensibilities.

Subject change to a humble, nice (but sadly, no longer with us…how poignantly unfair) celebrity.

I’m reading The Chris Farley Show, the new biography written by Chris’s brother, Tom, and Tanner Colby.

The poor guy — a comic genius, characterized as such by every person affiliated with Saturday Night Live who was interviewed for the book — suffered with demons that we should all thank the Lord we don’t carry around with us. Under the constantly-joking, fun exterior, there lived a sweet, gentle, insecure boy who desperately wanted to win the approval and affection of those around him — especially his father.

Admittedly, I didn’t watch a lot of SNL during Farley’s tenure on the show. That was when the comedy wasn’t real funny to me. It was just one b**** wh*** sl** joke after another, and I got tired of it. But what I saw of him — especially the “Motivational Speaker” and “Super Fan” sketches — was hysterical.

The most compelling, and oft-repeated, fact in the book from the interviewees is when they comment about “what Chris was really like.” Many of them said the same thing: “Watch Tommy Boy. That’s Chris.”

Having seen Tommy Boy a couple of times, Chris was someone I would have liked. I recommend the book highly, especially to SNL fans.

Fink out (on the town today).

Remember Crispin Glover, who played George McFly in 1985’s Back to the Future ?

Well, Crispin is now a writer and director. Oh, and a wackjob. Don’t forget wackjob. I triple-dog dare you to sit through this interview without wanting to gouge out your eyes with a melon baller.

Especially freakish (and equally as disjointed) is his answer to the fan question, “Why did you cast actors with Down Syndrome in a movie that isn’t about Down Syndrome?”

In case you don’t want to endure the actual video, imagine yourself in a situation which, unfortunately, many of us find all too familiar: You ask a person a simple question, and fifteen minutes later….

Gives new meaning to the phrase, That’s twenty minutes out of my life I’ll never get back.

Fink (running) out (into the street, screaming).

This is my neighbor Nancy’s silver maple tree. It’s beautiful, and, as you can see, huge. (Click the photo for a larger view.)

It towers over both of our back yards and our shared driveway. In the fall, it sheds its multi-colored leaves and creates a blanket of gold, orange, red, brown and yellow. It’s really a fabulous tree.

This spring, for the first time in the 3 years we’ve lived in our present house, the maple began to grow its special fruit, which I have always called its helicopter seeds. You know, the ones that look like this:

Well, of course, the helicopters fell, as they always do, and created a thick carpet in our back yard. There were thousands of them, literally. You could barely see the grass.

Why is this “obsessive,” you ask?

Wait for it…………

Wait…………..

It’s obsessive, because only my husband would get out the Shop Vac and vacuum them all up. Every last one of them. It took him 5 hours.

I am not making this up.

Obsessive? Eh, maybe. But since he is the coolest of the cool, and because he takes care of everything around here so I don’t have to worry about it, and he anticipates the entire family’s needs, and makes sure I have everything I require before I ever ask for it, and he does all that as well as taking care of his own business…he’s allowed.

Fink out.

So I’m leafing through Pravda (as you do), and I notice a headline that says, Married couple ignores washing and haircutting for 16 years. Hey, why not.

Would you eat a “miracle fruit” that makes Tobasco sauce taste like a chocolate milk shake? (Watch the video halfway down the page.)

Right wingnut Michelle Malkin drew attention to celebrity cook Rachael Ray’s scarf in a recent Dunkin’ Donuts commercial, claiming it looked like a Muslim kaffiyeh. She writes:

“The kaffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad.”

Dunkin’ Donuts — an American symbol of good nutrition and wholesome Yankee values — promotes terrorism.

There is no God.

Now people, I consider myself a moderate conservative, but this thing gets the Cockamamie Dingbat Story of the Decade award. Besides, I’m more offended by the lip collagen and scary eyebrows than by the scarf. Girlfriend’s had some weirdness done to her eyes as well, but I can’t figure it out.

And finally…

Apparently, no one is exempt from being searched at the airport.

I think I’ll go make the vanilla Dunkin’ Donuts coffee Heather got me for Mother’s Day. Support me some terrorists.

Fink out.