…If You Have Teenagers On Your Facebook Friend List

1. You will read every sad, angry, bizarre and hopelessly obscure song lyric on the planet. Lyrics will be posted at random, and will often have nothing whatsoever to do with the mood the teenager is in at the moment. If asked, “Whyd you post that if your not mad”, the response will often be, “idk i was just listening to it lol.”
2. lms = like my status (and you’ll get a prize — read on)
3. tbh = “To be honest.” This is the game where you “like” a friend’s status, and that friend posts a statement or two on your wall, beginning with the words, “To be honest…” Most often, the “To be honest” is followed by something along the lines of, “We don’t hang out much anymore but we need to,” and “We used to be really close and your really pretty,” and “I don’t know you really well but your my cousin’s girlfriend.”
4. lms for a rate – I am not making this up. Care to have someone judge you on a scale of 1-10 on your overall worth as a human? Smash that little thumbs-up icon. Admittedly, the lowest score I’ve seen a person give someone is 8 7, but still. Seriously? Rating people on a numeric scale in a public forum? Only in the 13-17 age demographic…
5. The cryptic, melodramatic status. Now we’ve all likely done some flavor of that from time to time, but teenagers are the undisputed world champeens. “Why do I even try anymore?” “Some people are totally fake!” “I know you lied to me.” “I hate my life.” They beg for response; for questions. Then when some unsuspecting fool writes, “hey wut happened,” the retort is either A) more cryptic prose, or B) “nothing its ok.”

Of course, with the exception of #5, these are all in good fun for the most part, and I don’t mind them at all. (Not all of my students take part in them, either.) I enjoy having my students on my Facebook friend list because I am completely non-controversial. I don’t broadcast my innermost personal turmoil on social networking sites, and I refrain — as I do here at RtB — from writing things that people (like my bosses, two of whom are also on my FB friend list) might find morally objectionable. In other words, I have nothing to hide, and that which I might need to hide stays hidden. It’s not like I’d behave differently if my students were not able to see my posts. I’m pretty boring in real life, actually. I don’t “party.” I’m just a Grammie with an attitude. A Rattitude.

And how’d you like the fact that I used “your” in the wrong context and omitted apostrophes from contractions —  and lived to tell the tale? Haha. Livin’ on the edge, lemmetellya. That’s my MO.

Rock on, Wayne.