So I’m leafing through Pravda (as you do), and I notice a headline that says, Married couple ignores washing and haircutting for 16 years. Hey, why not.

Would you eat a “miracle fruit” that makes Tobasco sauce taste like a chocolate milk shake? (Watch the video halfway down the page.)

Right wingnut Michelle Malkin drew attention to celebrity cook Rachael Ray’s scarf in a recent Dunkin’ Donuts commercial, claiming it looked like a Muslim kaffiyeh. She writes:

“The kaffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad.”

Dunkin’ Donuts — an American symbol of good nutrition and wholesome Yankee values — promotes terrorism.

There is no God.

Now people, I consider myself a moderate conservative, but this thing gets the Cockamamie Dingbat Story of the Decade award. Besides, I’m more offended by the lip collagen and scary eyebrows than by the scarf. Girlfriend’s had some weirdness done to her eyes as well, but I can’t figure it out.

And finally…

Apparently, no one is exempt from being searched at the airport.

I think I’ll go make the vanilla Dunkin’ Donuts coffee Heather got me for Mother’s Day. Support me some terrorists.

Fink out.