…that you can bet your last dime there’ll be people who buy it — “it” being stuff like this. From the Telegraph article:

Twitter has announced that starting today, it is shifting to a two-tiered system: a basic free service, Twttr, which uses only consonants, and a premium service which also includes vowels for five dollars a month. The social networking site said on its blog that they’re doing this because by eliminating vowels, it is encouraging a more efficient and “dense” form of communication. However, users will be able to use the letter ‘y’ for free, with early adopters like comedian Joan Rivers quickly adapting to the vowel-less way of typing.

Yeah, the thing is that some people will totally blow past the “April Fools'” part in the title, and shortcut it to the Chicken Little trajectory. Google people are up to their annual April Fools’ Day tricks, as if it wasn’t bad enough to honk off millions of people yesterday by ignoring Easter on a commemorative Doodle (even though Google hasn’t posted a single religion-themed Doodle for the last 13 years). This year, they rolled out Google Nose, which people might really swallow as well.

Can you see the Facebook posts? This Google Nose thing is a ripoff. I can’t smell anything!

Oy.

Meanwhile — and this is no foolin’ — only Lindsay Lohan would be flying to Brazil to party after just being remanded to rehab following her umpteenth arrest. Only Lindsay Lohan, I’m tellin’ ya. The second-, third- and sixteenth-chance gods are favoring her, because that would not happen to a single person reading this today (nor to the 6.9 billion other persons not reading this today).

And that’s all I have to say about that. Hey, look at me, not going to school and all. How shall I spend my last day of “spring break?” Working, of course. But it’ll be at my pace, thank you. I hope your holiday weekend was spectacular, fiends.