BTTH VI

Hey, let’s add some guitars playing power chords to Debussy’s Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun. Man it up a little. Heck, add on a couple strippers too, cuz, you know, we want guys to buy symphony tickets.

Today’s BTTH goes to Skate Canada.

Seems SC wants to toughen up men’s figure skating. Because, you know, we can’t have all them girly-men doing pirouettes and wearing sequins. They must all be gay.

See, this infuriates me on several levels. What’s this all about anyway? I mean really? It’s about television ratings, fiends. Canadian dollars. The Skate Canada people say that fewer men are entering the field of competitive figure skating because of the stereotype attached to it (this is especially touchy for Canada, I’d imagine, given their national, manly sport of ice hockey). Well that’s too bad. Maybe Skate Canada should embark on a massive education initiative, instead of proposing what amounts to simple caving under pressure, or worse: chasing the dollar at any cost.

It seems like a real Pandora’s Box grand opening. So what happens now? If you’re a male skater and you don’t choose the “Tough” program, but rather, you choose the pairs skating or more “artistic” side of the sport — what, you’re a nancy boy now? What happens then? I mean, really. If you want to add another dimension to your sport, then add it. But do it for the right reasons; not because you’re being called “sissy.”

*sigh*

<digression>

But listen. I ain’t no Mother Teresa. Everybody got a stereotype or two in their closet. I do, I admit it. My worst one: men and earrings. I hate earrings on men, in any form, single or double, small or large, hoop or cross or stud. Period. Why? Not because of sexual orientation connections, but because I equate the earring-clad male with a late-1970s lounge lizard.

Yes, I confess. I believe that every man who wears an earring is Nick Winters.

</digression>

Bottom line, I mean, who cares anyway? I think it is positively laughable that people to whom this matters would flock to the symphony hall to listen to Tchaikovsky, Bernstein or Copland (and many others) and not know or think a thing about it. It makes me laugh at all the tough guys who watched — and identified with — Rock Hudson’s and Van Johnson’s movies back in the day and didn’t know.

Regardless of your personal/religious/moral views, fiends: it just doesn’t matter. I know gay people who are amazing musicians. I also know gay bankers, teachers, coaches (*GASP*), attorneys, cost accountants, corporate training execs and project managers, whose work is indistinguishable from that of their hetero counterparts. Why does everything have to be about orientation?

Hey, I have an idea. Let’s make everything about how nice you are. If you’re a schmuck — *bANg*. You’re out. If you have fun at other people’s expense because it makes you feel superior — *bANg*. Boot to the head. If you constantly drag down the people around you with your horrible attitude — *bANg*. We shun you. If you don’t treat others as you want to be treated — *bANg*. We stereotype you, look down on you, and invalidate you.

Heh. I’m fulla good ideas. Happy Saturday! I hate weekends.

Fink out.

15 thoughts on “BTTH VI

  1. BoomR

    How about this as a good idea? (…but first a little background…)

    I doubt that much publicity has hit your part of the Buckeye State re: the “Outrage” premier (http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/outrage/), but it’s quite the expose on ultra right-wing Republicans who have appalling public stances/voting records on gay issues, but yet conveniently have a little boy-bootie on the side (or shall I say, in the closet). Just premiered at the Tribeca film festival & awaits wide distribution (including Dallas) starting May 8.

    Idea: maybe SC can hire the Outrage producers to start filming a “sister” expose (pardon the pun?) on all the macho athletes in ice hockey & other sports who get their freak on with team-mates/league-mates, and/or maybe have a guy stashed in their closet. Maybe a little “reverse psychology” from SC to get more guys into figure skating, plus maybe it’ll help blow a hole in the stereotype that there *aren’t* any gays in macho sports like ice hockey, football, basketball, etc.

    I’d be curious to do a YouTube search to see if someone posted the Jessica Simpson interview from her appearance on Rachel Ray show where Rachel asks Jessica if she cooks for her “boyfriend” Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys QB) – & she says that she cooks for Tony & his “room-mate” quite often. Rachel makes some comment about, “hey what’s up with an almost 30-year old guy dating you but still having a guy room-mate” and Jessica was pretty much speechless. It was PRICELESS!!

    Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Well now, Boom Boom, I am so glad I could offer this form for you to get your Saturday morning frustrations out! :-)

      That’s partly why I confessed my own stereotype/prejudice. Ain’t nobody squeaky. Least of all, the aging swingers who wear polyester shirts unbuttoned and too much jewelry and an earring…

      Now there I go again! You’re a BAD INFLUENCE!

      Reply
        1. BoomR

          OOPS… what happened to the “t” that I thought I typed? That’s supposed to read “…you still heart me, right?”

          Reply
  2. Ross

    I had no idea you were so racist against schmucks and the Canadian dollar.

    This reminds me of a brush with fame: I played junior hockey at the same rink where Brian Boitano trained, and once we were at neighboring urinals. Crazy, I know.

    Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Whatever would I do without your occasional emergence from Rossville (where life is beautiful all the time) to grace my space with your pithy weirdness? Actually, I figured a hockey post would bring you out of the woodwork. Heh.

      FYI, I am racist against ur****s. (I hate the word; I refuse to write it or speak it.) And yeah, schmuckery too, although it can be fun when you’re the schmuck, and not the one getting schmucked. Hmm. Anyway, you know what I mean.

      Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Aw, NUTS. Totally forgot, Meg – sorry! I’ll look for it tonight or at school on Monday if I can’t find it at home. Geez. What a donkey.

      Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Yes, Suz, I do. For various reasons, but one is that the weekends are when I bury myself at this box for 12 hours at a time. Yay for me…

      Reply
        1. Rat Fink Post author

          Oh yeah baby. That is, if I don’t fail these tests a second time and I’m sitting at this box for 12 hours a day AGAIN…

          Reply
  3. Stein

    You didn’t admit your prejudice for OCD, the youth, words with double letters (bubble, button, etc.), beurocracy, and cold weather!

    Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Ah yes, Steinball. Leave it to you to reveal my weaknesses to the world! I shall have my revenge….

      Reply

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