Category Archives: Everything Else

Everything old is new again

Remember when VISA was called “BankAmericard” and MasterCard was “Master Charge?”

I remember when my dad brought his first credit card home. He told my mom, “Now you can put it on the Master Charge if you don’t have enough cash with you.” Such simple, innocent words.

I remember putting clothes on layaway in high school, using my weekly allowance and money from my waitressing job to pay down the balance. Remember layaway? The store kept the items until you could afford to pay for them. When the bill was paid, you got your stuff. My, my, how far we’ve come….

The consumer debt problem in this country is something I don’t have time to get into this morning, and I’m no financial analyst, but I got eyes. It’s going to get much worse before getting the tiniest bit better. And I’m not throwing stones at anyone, mind. Many of us are guilty of that impulsive credit card purchase; I’m the first to admit it.

But the trend is reversing, believe it. Could we soon see the days when retail commerce runs on a cash-only basis? I think the answer is, “sooner than you think.”

I read an article this morning with a quote from a woman in New Jersey who had just dissolved some personal debt. She said that “her family was only living according to their means and not spending anything extra.”

Imagine that.

Fink out.

All things Fluff

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Well now, cats & kittens. Do we have a history with Fluff? I still love its marshmallowy yumminess. Fluffernutters were a staple of my lunchtime diet when I was a kid. What’s a Fluffernutter? Why, two slices of Wonder Bread, slathered generously with peanut butter on one and Fluff on the other, of course. Heaven. My mom made the best Fluffernutters. Just the right amount of innards. And love — don’t forget the love.

‘Course, those were days when having what amounted to a sugar sandwich for lunch was not necessarily frowned upon. Case in point: remember eating Honey Smacks breakfast cereal before they changed its name? I do. Anyway, I loved my Fluffernutters. Mavis didn’t, though, which was fine. More for me.

There’s even a website dedicated totally to Fluff, operated by its Boston-based manufacturer. There you can read about the storied history of Fluff. They even offer the famous “Yummy Book” of Fluff recipes for free download. (Don’t think I wasted a New York minute before snagging that bad boy.)

Best part of the Fluff site: the hot cocoa mugs. I covet them.

But that’s not all there is to Fluffdom. There’s a whole Fluff universe out there that I did not know existed. Next year, you can attend the What the Fluff? Fluff Fest in Massachusetts, where all things Fluff really come together. From drinking a “Fluffachino” at the coffee shop (which really does sound yummy) to getting screened for diabetes (no lie), there’s tons of fun to be had.

Heh…even puffy, stuffy Boston University showed up. Wow.

And what if you — like myself, on this nice, warm morning — have no Fluff on hand? You’re Fluffless? Bereft of Fluff? Well then, you can make your own. Five stars for the Fantastic Marshmallow Fluff Clone recipe.

Happy Friday, fiends. Think fluffy thoughts.

Image credit: Union Square Main Streets

What next?

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Friends, hit me with a two-by-four, beam me up and call me James Traficant.

Hollyweird’s all abuzz. Stars and starlets are seriously going to be more conservative in their appearance on red carpets this year. It’s going to make an important statement. Let’s honor those odd little people called Them What Barely Make Ends Meet, and wear the $6,000 Lagerfeld gown instead of the $60,000 Van Cleef & Arpels choker. Don’t do loose hair or puffy lips, and go easy on the Botox. **heavy sigh** It’s going to be tough, but we can do it. Let’s set an example. Cuz, you know, we have to cut corners; times are hard and we don’t want to appear overly ostentatious. I mean really…who’s going to wear “$500 false eyelashes when some people can’t make their mortgage payments?”

I know, gosh. I hope they’re going to be OK out there.

Goats are making drugs. I am not making this up.

Again with the smoking. Remove smoking from the movies! OK, I get it. Smoking=bad. Do a Google search on remove smoking movies television and you’ll get a metric ton of hits dedicated to pulling the cancer sticks out of the cinema. Now do another search, but replace the word “smoking” with “drinking.” Feh. We’re just so incredibly picky with our poisons.

Yeesh, I am snarky this morning, aren’t I? And I have used the word “snarky” in two successive posts. I think I’m OK…**feeling face**…do I look all right? I don’t even have a 2-hour delay, so what’s wrong with me? I must be unwell.

Back later. Start without me.

Fink, in a funk

Not looking good for the home team

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Well, fiends – we’ve had what appears to be the first suicide related to the sickening problems on Wall Street. I hope this is not the beginning of the huge personal, corporate and country-wide slide that many are predicting.

I wish I had a better feeling about things.

I did some lightweight comparative analysis this morning on the similarities between this crisis and the market crash of 1929. What did I find? Overwhelmingly, a haunting refrain: at some point, the piper must be paid. The federal debt grows by $1.7 billion per day. The deficit spending buzzard has come back to roost, and the government has no idea how we’re all going to avoid being its carrion. The debt crisis can’t just continue to spiral; there has to be a touch-down effect — a bottoming out.

And it’s coming. Except this time, as the Wall Street Journal pointed out two days ago, it’s “not your father’s market crash.” Many readers agreed. Some of the comments I read:

No, this time, it’s worse. 1929 was an equity crash. This time, it’s a debt crash. It’s going to take a long, long time to dig out of this one. In 1929, the Government wasn’t deep in the hole going into the crash. We could afford the New Deal. This time? Maybe not.

You are right: this is not your father’s crash. It’s the mother of all crashes.

You dipstick Wall Street cheerleaders are getting exactly what you deserve. It’s such a shame that you criminals were able to convince so many unknowing people that our “debt boat” would just continue sailing along… making big profits. Surely there’s a special place in hell for you con artists.

Tighten your belt, reassess your values and your priorities, read and study and learn to understand where we’re all going down the line (with a realistic emphasis on the fact that people WILL be ignorant, greedy, foolish and stupid, by and large) and most of all: DON’T PANIC.

Some tried to infuse the situation with a little humor:

Lock all the wall street high rise windows!

There is no market crash. The DOW remains above 14,000. Only the infidels and the goat lovers are telling you these lies. We will surround and kill them at the airport. They will all end up in the stomachs of camels. (Comment signed by “Baghdad Bob.”)

Bottom line — we need to get ready, because the band is apparently finishing its set, and it will want its money. We danced, now we pay.

Tomorrow, only good news. Promise.