Well, fiends – we’ve had what appears to be the first suicide related to the sickening problems on Wall Street. I hope this is not the beginning of the huge personal, corporate and country-wide slide that many are predicting.

I wish I had a better feeling about things.

I did some lightweight comparative analysis this morning on the similarities between this crisis and the market crash of 1929. What did I find? Overwhelmingly, a haunting refrain: at some point, the piper must be paid. The federal debt grows by $1.7 billion per day. The deficit spending buzzard has come back to roost, and the government has no idea how we’re all going to avoid being its carrion. The debt crisis can’t just continue to spiral; there has to be a touch-down effect — a bottoming out.

And it’s coming. Except this time, as the Wall Street Journal pointed out two days ago, it’s “not your father’s market crash.” Many readers agreed. Some of the comments I read:

No, this time, it’s worse. 1929 was an equity crash. This time, it’s a debt crash. It’s going to take a long, long time to dig out of this one. In 1929, the Government wasn’t deep in the hole going into the crash. We could afford the New Deal. This time? Maybe not.

You are right: this is not your father’s crash. It’s the mother of all crashes.

You dipstick Wall Street cheerleaders are getting exactly what you deserve. It’s such a shame that you criminals were able to convince so many unknowing people that our “debt boat” would just continue sailing along… making big profits. Surely there’s a special place in hell for you con artists.

Tighten your belt, reassess your values and your priorities, read and study and learn to understand where we’re all going down the line (with a realistic emphasis on the fact that people WILL be ignorant, greedy, foolish and stupid, by and large) and most of all: DON’T PANIC.

Some tried to infuse the situation with a little humor:

Lock all the wall street high rise windows!

There is no market crash. The DOW remains above 14,000. Only the infidels and the goat lovers are telling you these lies. We will surround and kill them at the airport. They will all end up in the stomachs of camels. (Comment signed by “Baghdad Bob.”)

Bottom line — we need to get ready, because the band is apparently finishing its set, and it will want its money. We danced, now we pay.

Tomorrow, only good news. Promise.

Fink out.