Hey! Remember when the Browns went to the Super B….

Ah, wait. Wrong team.

But remember last year when the Browns went to the pla….

Nuts. That was the stupid St****rs.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother. But I just can’t let go. Not after almost 30 years.

I got to thinking this morning about how long it’s been since I’ve actually been to a Browns game. I think it was 1992 or something. Anyway, it was a time when names like Bernie Kosar, Frank Minnifield, Reggie Langhorne, Webster Slaughter and Hanford Dixon were household words around these parts.

Yeah, I remember the ribbing Mr. Side-Arm used to take. (And don’t forget the tremendous beatdowns.)

And yes, darling, I remember “The Drive” and “The Fumble.” Go ahead. Mock me. Ho ho, very funny. Ha ha, it is to laugh.

But those were great days for Cleveland football fans. And even though I’m all vain and girly and won’t touch spiders, I know more about football than any woman I know. My dad used to say (as he’d drill footballs into my 11-year-old ribcage), “You’re the closest thing to a boy I’ve got – now get tough!” Heh. Nostalgic, tender moments from my childhood…

But I digress. This year, I pledge to not give up on the Dawgs. I mean, it’s not that the talent’s not there. Anyone with a brain will admit that Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards are fun to watch. It’s the putting-it-together part that has bitten the collective butt of the Browns. Seemingly over and over.

Despite all the talent and the fact that there are as many opinions about this as there are seats in Browns Stadium, any Cleveland fan will tell you that playtime is over; it’s time to get down to business. We have long-standing animosity towards the Ravens (I know, get over it) and even longer-standing hatred for P******rgh. (And I swear if I ever see Sam “You Don’t Live in Cleveland; You Live in Cincinnati!” Wyche on the street, I will drop him where he stands.)

But we need to file away all those extreme prejudices, and concentrate on winning. 10-6 and missing the playoffs to the team with the ugliest uniforms in the NFL ain’t gonna pass muster.

Let the games begin….

Photo credits: si.com, clevelandbrowns.com, bernie-kosar.com

You know, I’ve never really gotten into watching auto racing. For that matter, I don’t really love to watch any kind of racing, be it by machines, horses or humans. I’m more of a team-sport fan.

In fact, I’m ashamed to admit I’ve always held a somewhat unfair, stereotypical prejudice against NASCAR. For many years, it brought to my mind images of mullet-wearing rednecks swilling Budweiser, spittin’ and chewin’ around the TV set, situated beneath a huge Confederate flag serving as drapery for the picture win-da, with hound dogs under the porch and about six cars littering the front yard in various stages of decomposition.

So you can certainly imagine my sarcasmo surprise when I read this morning that NASCAR suspended two “officials” indefinitely, pending an investigation. Seems that another NASCAR employee — a Mauricia Grant — filed a $225 million lawsuit…

…alleging 23 specific incidents of sexual harassment and 34 specific incidents of racial and gender discrimination during her time as a technical inspector for NASCAR’s second-tier Nationwide Series.” (espn.com)

Ok, that does no favors for the NASCAR stereotype, especially when the racial slurs against this black woman referred to her as a “nappy-headed Mo” working on “colored people time.” Of course the defendants are firing back at the allegations, saying she was a “willing participant” in the shenanigans.

Do you find it odd that one of the defendants happens to be named David Duke? Bizarre. There’s a name for that kind of coincidence. I just can’t think of it.

I’m reading some wild blog reactions. Take this one, from blackvoices.com:

I am a (white [female]) media member, and was invited behind the scenes to attend one of the races last year. I brought a gorgeous black friend as my guest for the day, and she wasn’t openly harassed, but she was basically ignored. Then I was grabbed by one of the drivers, who thought it was totally funny until I threatened to report the incident to his sponsor, and only then did I finally get an apology. Every NASCAR fan I told the story to afterward said, ‘What do you expect? It’s NASCAR!’ Needless to say, I never accepted another race invite, and then I came across research about the ‘sport’s’ horrible environmental record, and I felt even more strongly about not supporting this organization. I cannot understand how anyone who is female, black, or who cares about the environment can support NASCAR, given their appalling record on all these issues. And the best way to get any change is to complain to the sponsors…obviously doing the right thing is not enough for NASCAR to change, but maybe hitting their bottom line will be a wake-up call.”

Yowza.

Well, no matter. Money will be paid, hushing will take place, and it’ll have been a tempest in a teapot. Someone on some blog this morning said that “NA$CAR is not a sport. It’s a business.” Well they’re in good company. They can sit down next to the $NBA$, the $NFL$, and $MLB$. The hubris and utter excess of these organizations must surely someday bring about their undoing.

Or not.

TTFN.

FO.

PS – Nobody’s won the contest yet. Here’s a hint: what was the theme of yesterday’s post?