Necessary Inventions

Here’s something I wish someone would invent for the masses (namely, me). The Drive-By Back Window Message Board.

You could turn it on at the driver’s console and give it a speech-to-text command. Whatever you say would be posted on your back window as you pass the person in front of you. You know the one: the guy who can only do one thing at a time, like talk to the person next to him or talk on the phone; things that preclude one from watching the speedometer. Things that only happen when you’re 15 minutes behind schedule getting to work, and there are yellow lines for miles at a time.

I would like to invent this if someone hasn’t beaten me to it. It needs to be something like this, only faster and more visible. And voice activated. And cute. And available in hot pink text.

Any venture capitalists reading this, please email me.

So, what would you have someone dream up? It could be a let’s-make-the-world-a-happier-place-based idea, or simply a desperate wish along the lines of we can send a man to the moon, but…

Ready, steady, go.

7 thoughts on “Necessary Inventions

  1. Mavis

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been behind a driver who isn’t paying attention because they’re on the stinking phone!!!! I like your idea for the back window read-out better than that little digital thing on Amazon, though. I want folks to be able to see and read my thoughts clearly. I’m usually a pretty calm and tame driver – until I get behind the person talking or texting at a green light. AAHHH! I’ve been so tempted to hop out of my car (that would be fun to see) and bang on that persons window, and tell them these traffic lights only have one shade of green, so GET MOVING!!!!! *part yer hair sigh*

    I love coming here to rant and rave. :-) It’s out of my system now. Well, until I get my car out of the shop and back behind *those drivers* again!

    Reply
  2. BoomR

    LOVE it! Another message I’d love to see on that sign: HANG UP THE PHONE & Drive!! Your kids onboard don’t deserve your distractions!

    Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Yep — YOU ARE A MENACE TO OTHERS ON THE ROAD would be another one. I hate the facial expression (total ignorance of what’s going on around them) of phone talkers when they’re driving.

      Reply
  3. Suzanne

    I recently “had words” with someone on Facebook who had posted pictures of the snow she took WHILE DRIVING! Her answer was “it was reasonably safe at 20MPH”. Then she changed it to “I was at a red light”. She wasn’t. Fool. Ignoramuses (ignoramii?? :)P ) like that should never get a license to drive.

    Be glad you don’t have to deal with roundabouts and people who don’t have a clue as how to enter or exit them even after years and years of using them. We did see some new roundabouts in Michigan — are there any in Ohiyuh yet?

    Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      The dreaded roundabout — nope, none around here so far. They look treacherous enough for people WITH brains…

      Ignoramii. HAA

      Reply

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