Epic, man.

3 Replies

I saw an article in the New Yorker yesterday, about how “elite brospeak” has pretty much chewed up the scenery with regard to Americans’ somewhat recent propensity to use great big dramatic words and hip lingo to describe standard, everyday things.

Where has this taken us, lexicologically? If one uses the word “incredible” to describe the new pancakes at IHOP, what will he use to describe witnessing the Aurora Borealis, or the Grand Canyon, or the birth of his child? If making the “my head just exploded” gesture is warranted by comparing two cell phone company prices and discovering one is lower, what gesture will suffice at seeing this?

To me, no episode of Pretty Little Liars can be “amazing.” Now this? This can be amazing.

I admit to delivering the dreaded “awesome” or “outrageous” or “beyond [state of being]” one too many times, perhaps.  And some of the phrases I’ve used were fine once upon a time, but are now ruined — kind of like hearing a good song so many times, it’s no longer good (“Happy,” “Stairway to Heaven,” “Gangnam Style,” “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and others come to mind). They just outlive their usefulness.

But there are some tired old jack mules I can no longer read without twitching a bit on the inside:

  1. #soblessed
  2. I love you to the moon and back
  3. Amazeballs
  4. Butt-hurt
  5. My amazing boyfriend
  6. The struggle is real
  7. The best ____ ever
  8. Break (or broke) the Internet
  9. Fascist and Socialist (written/spoken by people who have no idea what they mean)
  10. That’s so ironic (don’t get me started)

However, I think it’s not at all hyperbolic to say that the Thriller and I are experiencing mild trepidation about the house going up for sale tomorrow when we have no other place picked out to live. After looking at our 14th house yesterday, we’ve been a) less than enthused about either the house or the land it sits on, b) unable to afford the price, or c) outbid. Still, we’ll continue to strive to just tell folks like it is, as opposed to using temperance drama gestures or diabolically hip brospeak to convey that the pressure wash guy didn’t call us back yet.

That said, I think Donald Trump is hella bootsy, yo?

Going to school

8 Replies

Over the last few months, I have learned much.

Without trying to sound vague (and now I will be completely vague), I will say that you’re never too old to learn new things about things, and about people. You know:  what stuff and folks are made of. Since Christmas, I’ve seen the good and the bad, and came away having gotten an education.

The first lessons came via a bunch of smart, level-headed, dedicated colleagues on my negotiations team, who make it look like I marginally know what I’m doing. I’ve learned gobs from all of them, and also from Mick, our labor relations consultant. Such cool people.

I’ve learned who I can really trust, and who’s just in it for the gimmes; who I can safely confide in, and when to completely limit the discussion topics to weather and sports. And if that ain’t a life lesson, fiends, I don’t know what is. Choose your confidantes carefully.

I’ve learned it was OK to let go of the house I so desperately wanted because the Thriller finally got it through my cement skull that there were too many problems with the foundation and electrical system that apparently were going to be frightfully expensive to fix if they went south. I need to move on, and it’s OK that someone else will get that house eventually. I’m all right with it, seriously. There will be other houses, so it’s good. I mean it. Really.

I sense you don’t believe me.

Finally — and this is a lesson in progress — I’m learning that it’ll all get done. It doesn’t have to be shiny and presentation-ready all at once. It can wait until after you have dinner or go to the grocery, or have a meal with your grandchildren. Or after you write a long-overdue blog post. Hey, speekina…someone is celebrating her eighth birthday soon. Whaaaaa?

Srsly.

8 Replies

Happy 2016! Now see here.

The new year is still in diapers, and I’m mad already. Why do I allow this to happen? Why?

Because I care. Or because I can. One of the two.

Behold, my list of…

Seriously. Just stop it.

  1. The ridiculous forwarding of hoaxes on social media (Facebook, especially). There are a lot of cool people on my friend list, and I’m not patronizing them, believe me; they’re fun and smart folks. But the height of the ridiculous was reached several weeks ago when otherwise intelligent people began to copy and paste to their profiles the utterly, preposterously vapid notion that Mark Zuckerberg was giving away a huge chunk of his fortune to Facebook users, if they’d only forward the post saying he would do so.  Again — people who otherwise are bright and savvy were cheerfully passing this on, many with the obligatory infuriating disclaimer, I figured ‘why not?’ Couldn’t hurt! Oh, but dear heart, it does hurt. It hurts the appearance that you might have a marginal lick of horse sense. This also applies to the forwarding of pictures with cockamamie stories, like the one that pictured ISIS flags in a demonstration in Dearborn Michigan, with the text going something like, “Think we don’t have a Muslim problem in the US? Pay attention!” Under a minute of cursory research reveals that the ISIS flags were actually part of an anti-ISIS rally by American Muslims living in Dearborn. But let’s not allow facts to get in the way. Rule of thumb: Always, always check. Use sites like snopes.com, politifact.com, hoaxbusters.org, truthorfiction.com.
  2. The inane assumption that professional athletes cannot party. Yes, Johnny Manziel was spotted in a Vegas casino after being declared PUP by the Browns because of a concussion. And worse — he was laughing after a loss. Honestly. So what? As Charles Barkley famously proclaimed back in ’93: they aren’t paid to be role models, even though many think they should be (and admittedly, some have a morals clause in their contract). But look: What’s different about Manziel’s bad-boy off-the-field behavior compared to that of Michael Jordan, Joe Namath, Babe Ruth, Brett Favre, Dwight Gooden, Mickey Mantle, Lawrence Taylor, and countless other relentless party boy pro athletes who came before him? Social media, that’s what. Instant coverage; getting caught in the act, on video. The older guys never had to deal with that, and I submit it was easier to be naughty because of it. Moreoever, I’m not so sure Johnny ever had a bona fide drinking problem; rather, his handlers suggested rehab as a way to mitigate the feelings of anger the fan base experienced after the first video came out. I can’t prove it, but I still believe it in my gut of guts. Bottom line: If a player shows up and does the work, it doesn’t matter what he does afterwards any more than what you do after you go home from work, providing he isn’t breaking the law or a contract stipulation. If Manziel is “immature” on the playing field, then deal with it in a football manner. If he’s immature off the field, so what? It is (unfortunately) not a crime to be a jerk. It may all be moot soon anyway, as the customary and predictable biennial shakedown in the Browns front office took place last night, and Johnny may very well be hitting the road. But let’s take the sainthood aspect out of sports, because they ain’t saints. Hey, here’s a wacky idea: Parents, what if you took up the sword of teaching your kids to not be idiots about worshiping these people?        Naaah.
  3. The sickening hate speech operating under the shield of anonymity. Scratch that. Shorten it to just “The sickening hate speech.” Many online news sites have gone to the Facebook plugin exclusively for comments, but it has done little to stop some from being openly, shamelessly awful via their responses. (In regards to the the ISIS issue in #1, read some of the comments on the original Facebook post. They’re disgusting, but not nearly as terrible as some of the less transparent Disqus comments I’ve read. Also, as a veteran of Usenet and DejaNews back in the 90s, I have seen some pretty nasty stuff, but it was rarely ever posted by someone using his/her real name.) People who would likely never be as “brave” in person let loose bigtime on the internet, spewing hatred so vile it makes me wonder how they sleep at night.

The ridiculous, the inane, and the sickening. Wasn’t this just fussy of me today? Who knows; maybe it’s due to my having to reactivate my 4:45 a.m. daily alarm. I have it so tough, you know. ;-)

It’s been a fantastic winter break. Now it’s back to the insanity: the nonstop race to get through May. Once I’m there, we’re good! Ready, steady…

Odyssey 2016

9 Replies

On the banks of the peaceful Potomac…

Virginia remains the only state out of the lower 48 that the Thriller has not visited. Time to check it off the list. And I reminded him that since he co-owns all the government buildings in DC, we should make sure he visits them as well. Yay! Mr. Jackson Goes to Washington.

The last time I saw DC was 1980-something, so I’m looking forward to going back. We sat down on Thursday evening and mapped out/narrowed down the list of things we want to see in the time frame we have, and came up with what I think will be a lovely — albeit very busy — getaway, featuring visits to:

That’s a lot to cram into five days and four nights, but we’ll do what we can. And I’m sure security to get in anywhere will be nuts. It’s OK, though. We’re excited to see everything, and we plan to make full use of the nice transit system of trains and buses. After a dozen different subway trains in New York City, and the New Jersey Transit white-knucklers through the Lincoln Tunnel (Did you hear about the guy who did a triple gainer right out the windshield the other day? Holy cats.), the DC Metro will be a ride in the park.

There’s also a new twist for us this year with regard to lodging. I have seen some expensive hotel rooms in my life, but criminetly, a decent room anywhere in the DC area is outrageously, frightfully out of our league. So we’re using Airbnb, and I must say we’re having fun looking at all the possibilities.

Of course, a visit to Virginia wouldn’t be complete without taking in the beauty of the Blue Ridge Mountains and Shenandoah River Valley. We plan to make reservations at the mountaintop Skyland Resort for two days of leisurely hikes on the Appalachian Trail, shopping and eating along Skyline Drive, enjoying warm drinks under the stars on a cool night, and lots of amateur photography of the breathtaking views.

And hopefully no bears.

Does that sound like a fun Odyssey? We think it will be. We’ll get to enjoy the best of both vacation “worlds,” in that we’ll experience the craziness of the city, and also the serenity of being hidden away in the mountains.

But first, I have to get through the rest of the school year, which, amazingly, starts back up in 48 short hours. Allez! Onward to July. :-)

Happy weekend!

Year 20

15 Replies
A few small changes between then and now.

Cuppla small changes between then and now.

That’s what we’re starting today, the Thriller and I. Nineteen years in the books. Crazy, man.

And he hasn’t run out of the house and into the street screaming yet. Imagine that. Life is not easy with the likes of me, what with shows taking me away from home regularly during the school year, my being the quintessential insecure artist train wreck, and generally functioning as his polar opposite in many ways:

  • I could leave the dishes in the sink overnight and not think about it for two more days. He has to have them taken care of.
  • I’d let the laundry pile up and do it once a week. He likes to keep at it so it’s always at a minimum.
  • I’m an avid reader; he’d rather watch TV for relaxation.
  • He likes to put up Christmas lights; I couldn’t care less about it.
  • Our politics are not quite aligned.
  • He likes ghostie and Bigfoot shows, while I think they’re ridiculous (and he likely thinks the same about all my crazy dramas on the DVR, but doesn’t feel the need to poke fun at them…hmmm…I need to work on that).
  • He’s a processor; a thinker. He’s good with numbers. I’m…well, everything that’s not that. :-D
  • Basically, he’s this and I’m this.

That said, we do share a lot of likes and dislikes:

  • We’re both picky eaters (he even more than I, if my family can imagine that)
  • We love to play video poker
  • Chocolate covered cherries are a food group, and so is anything drowning in hot fudge
  • Road trips are the best; the longer, the better
  • Camping is for the young, and for those who don’t mind mosquitoes, rock-hard sleeping surfaces, sweating and getting filthy — um, yeah
  • We adore our grandchildren
  • We aspire to the same retirement goals (new house, some more travel)
  • We both love dogs

Right now, we’re preparing for a stay-at-home celebration of ordering food in and watching a movie on PPV, maybe. Or perhaps we’ll have some fun chatting over dinner, then he’ll go watch the Blackhawks and I’ll do some reading or Dinner Theatre prep. It doesn’t have to be a crazy party to be a joyeaux célébration. Regardless, it’s been a real nice clambake over the last 19+ years. Hugs and love to the Thriller, and happy NYE to all of you!