Random Neuron Firings
Hey, remember when I posted that list of Things You’d Never Know Without the Movie Industry? Yeah, me neither. So I looked it up. Then I found a few more that bear mentioning. Behold:
- All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman, but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
- It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
- If you decide to hack into the CIA database, all you need is a laptop and an internet connection. It will usually take about 10 seconds to get into the system undetected.
- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
- All single women have a cat.
- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
- Creepy sounds coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
- Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.
- Never be afraid to jump off of a building into an open dumpster, as the contents will most likely always be clean, fluffy garbage bags.
And here’s one of my own:
Females never have to go to the loo. You always see men standing at those nasty wall things, but, you know. OK, moving on.
Here’s a graphic artist’s rendering of what Michael Jackson might have looked like at 50 years old had he not had all the surgery. Very nice; respectable.
So do I have rehearsal today? Why yes, I do. But first, food.