Welp, that was stinky.

Nope, I don’t mean Mary Poppins. Something came up yesterday afternoon and I ended up giving away my ticket, so no review from me. We will have to wait until Wendell or Stoney tells us about the show. Was it too long? Was Mary really uninteresting? How much did they change the melodies of the songs? I covet a reaction.

Instead, I shall pass judgment on something else entirely.

Last night, the Thriller and I were coming home from the pharmacy and we passed a Chinese restaurant. Its vile reek followed us for a quarter of a mile. I was completely offended.

To me, Chinese food smells like old, rancid cooking oil, used 50 times over, then used some more (which is probably closer to the truth than any of us would like to admit, and not just for Chinese cuisine). It’s cloying, but in a bitter way. Bottom line: it just smells filthy to me. And that red, slimy substance they schlep all over everything is just downright wretched.

When our daughters were going to college and living with us, they would sometimes bring the offensive victuals into the house. And while they took a huge running start from the sidewalk up to their bedrooms, no effort, no matter how valiant, could kill the despicable stench of the Red Muck Squeezed From the Leaking Bowels of a Dead Yak. I ended up slapping a moratorium on the foul stuff; they weren’t allowed to eat Chinese in the house anymore. (And I am certain the Chinese appreciated it.)

Oh well. That’s just me.

Other food smells that make me gag, scowl, or just mad:

  • Cabbage (cooked)
  • Brussels sprouts (in any form)
  • Fish
  • Broccoli (cooked)
  • Every flavor of salad dressing except Caesar
  • Olive oil

Through the years, there have been people who, when I shared with them my disdain for many foods, would stand with arms akimbo and scold, You don’t know what you’re missing, and How can you not like _____?

They’re not with us anymore.

So what food smells make you want to yark? Or does *everyone* in the known universe except me love every kind of food imaginable?

I used to hate pizza. Wish I still did.

Fink out.

14 thoughts on “Welp, that was stinky.

  1. K

    Another confusion as to why we are best friends – Chinese food is a great treat to me and there is nothing better than fished grilled in olive oil with a side of cold weather veggies – I do agree though about salad dressing [actually I don’t like Mr. Caesar either] – something to hang a friendship on – love you

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      And the mysteries of the universe continue…

      How many years have we laffed about the diametric differences? Still we are BFFs. I’m tellin ya…the book. The book idea. The BOOK IDEA.

  2. PKPudlin

    My kids have for a long time complained that I have the world’s most ornery nose. For years I have refused to shop in any store that smelled of popcorn. Curry and middle Eastern food makes me gag; liver likewise, and I’m with you on the cabbage, brussels sprouts and fish. Mostly I’m a texture person, though and don’t eat certain foods because I don’t like the way they feel in my mouth, even if the smell passes muster.

    PU…errr I mean PK.

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      EWWWW — ^5 on the Indian food. *bLEcH* That goes for Thai as well.

      When I worked in an office at the local university years ago, I befriended a wonderful young man from Iran named Mehdi. When he would bring his friends around to chat with me, my office would be immediately saturated with the smell of fish and curry. It just gets into your pores.

      It reminded me of hugging an alcoholic (which I have done, sadly, many times in my life). The booze smell just reeks up through the skin.

      I’m a mouth-feel person too!

  3. BoomR

    Gurl- that totally doesn’t make sense that you list fish, then 2 bullets later you cite Caesar dressing (made with anchovy paste!!) as the only dressing you’ll eat! Have you ever eaten an authentic Caesar with those furry little fish garnishing the top of the salad? Or at least made at your table where they have mashed the anchovies into paste right before your eyes?? Ugh… Don’t get me wrong, I **love** Caesar salad – I just try NOT to think about the anchovy factor when I enjoy my salad :-)

    …and when did you ever NOT like pizza?? I seem to recall sitting around the tv on Diamond St. with a bottle of Riuniti and Domino’s pizza on more than 1 occasion :-P

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Boom Boom!

      No joke — when I was a kid (we’re talking 7 or 8), no one could get me to eat pizza. Then, around junior high school age, my outlook changed when I was the only kid at the party saying “no thanks.” HA

      Yep — out of the 24 ingredients in my bottle of Cardini Caesar, “anchovies” is listed 22nd. Go figger! You need to believe though…if I could taste them, I wouldn’t *have* a bottle of Cardini Caesar in my fridge! And yep, I’ve seen them make a Caesar salad tableside…Cleveland Athletic Club, 1978. But would I ever in a trillion years eat it? NO WAY!!!

      Now that Diamond Street memory…those wuz some fun times, no? I love you!

      1. BoomR

        Have you tried the Newman’s Own brand of Caesar dressing? YUMMIE!! We go through that stuff around here like it’s water! But Cardini’s rocks as well, too!! In fact, that was some of the first Caesar that I really actually liked!

        Fun times, indeed with the pizza and screw-cap wine! LOL I had another Diamond Street flash today – Bluvox bought a Korg keyboard for “Studio B” (the guitar practice room). As I was cutting up the box to go into the blue recycle bin, I saw the word “synthesizer” and immediately heard a young #1 son voice trying to pronounce. Remember what he’d call it??
        “Sin-sir-size-er” :-)

        I HEART YEEW TOO!! **smewch**

        1. Rat Fink Post author

          Oh yes I adore Newman’s Caesar…it’s just a bit more spensy is all. I drown the whole thing in fresh parmesan and croutons anyhow, so it probably wouldn’t even matter. HA

          Sin sir size er! I do remember that! And now look…he just delivered a huge truckload of steel to Talladega and Tuscaloosa today. The baby went and growed up. *sigh*

  4. Greg

    While I like cabbage, cooking it, however, leaves my house smelling like a sewage treatment plant for days. So I rarely prepare it. Certain fruit smells gives the shudders. While babysitting my grand-niece and grand-nephew, I was asked to cut up a banana for them. I don’t know what I gagged on more: the banana or changing Seth’s diaper. Honeydew melon smells creep me out as does the smell of apples being ground up under my lawn tractor: apples, leaves and newly-mown grass all mixed together sure doesn’t bring me “back to nature!”

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Ah yes, Gregor…you are the first person I’ve ever met whose disdain for fruit matches mine for vegetables. We rule the friggin world.

  5. Hiltbrunner

    Sauerkraut, Liver, Salmon Patties (at least the way my mom makes them).

    I’m sure there are more.

    Now foods that I love to smell…fresh glazed Krispy Kremes.

  6. Stein

    Mushrooms (they are more comparable to athlete’s foot than to veggies)
    MEXICAN FOOD – All encompassing, this includes Taco Bell and all others. Anything that has a dish featuring something that is REfried (let alone fried) should not be a cherrished thing. Tacos? “Hey everybody! Let’s stew some meat until it’s squishy, add some orange powder, and put it in some bread that is overly chewy! Oh, and let’s add melted institutional cheese, sour cream (also bad), and maybe some ratty stuff that used to be lettuce!!!” Yeah, not happening.


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