Monthly Archives: April 2009

*yawn*

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There is not enough coffee in this world.

Welp…here we are. First exam today (music ed.). Thank you to all my Finkville fiends who sent me text messages and emails of encouragement and well-wishes. You are the beast.

Tomorrow is music theory and musicology. I think I stand a better chance at passing (one of) those. That’s the hope, anyway. I told a friend last night that I’m not unprepared; I’m under-prepared. Shame on me for trying to pull it all off during Dinner Theatre rehearsals. But, a fink’s gotta do what a fink’s gotta do.

I’ll see you on the other side — me and Gloria Gaynor.

Fink out (the door to Akron)

Made ya laff

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Found this awesome PhotoShop contest on cracked.com. Hilarious. See if you can find what’s been “added.” Some are not so obvious…

And I hardly ever reprint a forwarded email. Most of them are of the ridiculous, easily-debunked variety. But this one (while *almost* true – there are several books with this information in them, although I’m not sure which ones contained these exact quotes) was hysterical. I have to reprint some of it.

Rarely does reading something make me laugh out loud, but this did. Thanks to my BFF Kay for sending it to me.

Things Actually Said in American Courtrooms

~

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

============

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you sh****ng me?

============

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height, and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or female?

WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I’m going with male.

============

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

============

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Blood pressure? Breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So then, isn’t it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes. It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

============

Made ya laff. :-)

FO

Finkservations

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I do like to observe, I’ll grant you. Then I like to comment. Behold…a morning glance at Yahoo’s “Most Emailed Photos” gives pause for Finkservations:

Seems to me the wife of the PM of Great Britain would have access to a full-length mirror.

Er....

Taken at a California fruit market. All righty...

Dude. You're the president, fuh cripesake. Granted, the president of *France*, but still...

Nope. No steroids here.

Redneck was cited for DUI on this thing. Only in Ohio.

All right. Time to hit the books (like it’ll do any good at this point).

Fink out.

IRC – what a hoot

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My friend and Finkville citizen Suzanne lives in the Netherlands with her handsome Dutch husband, Harold. She wrote a comment on yesterday’s blog that really brought back some memories. All ye who are geeky and all about this here internet thing, read on. (Those who aren’t can read on as well, what the heck.)

I have met some wonderful friends through a protocol developed in the late 80s/early 90s called Internet Relay Chat – or IRC. Users downloaded mIRC and pIRCch software and used it exclusively to communicate real-time on a daily basis with people from all over the planet. It was instant messaging’s granddaddy. How can I explain it…it was a cult of sorts; a brotherhood, to wit:

  • We didn’t call them “chat rooms.” That was for silly AOL users who didn’t want to know the guts of anything. Our hangouts were called “channels.” Many of us were Usenet junkies, and we made the transition pretty easily.
  • We had channel operators (chanops or just “ops”) who controlled the mayhem. We (including the Thriller, Suzanne and myself) worked our way up through the ranks and were made channel operators by the IRC gods. At one point, Thriller and I were “499” level ops, with the highest designation being 500 (or channel owner). Think of a jail setting…we were trustees of the highest order. HA
  • These weren’t just cute little “chat rooms.” At the time, we operated the channel called #newbies, where everyone who was new to IRC came to get help and learn the ropes of the software and the environment. Hundreds and hundreds of people cycled through that place every day. There were also a lot of IRC veterans who just came to hang. Many relationships, involving lifelong friendship, romance, and even animosity, developed in there. (I’m thinking of some certain Canadians…)
  • There were lots of people from Europe, Asia, Canada and the US, all coming together in one place to talk, laugh, and generally be silly. It was great, and at the time, extremely novel. It wasn’t the norm back in 1993-94 like it is now.
  • Suzanne is a wonderful friend I made through IRC, and I’ll be forever grateful for that.

Suzanne: So I just blew the dust off my copy of mIRC, and connected to Undernet. Went into our old stomping grounds and found Mahatma & Clotho…whaddya know?? Cool that they’re still together, just like us.

:-)

Have a dandy day, everyone.

Fink, dinosaur

24 hours in

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Yesterday, my husband (affectionately known as the Thriller, because he has a rather well-known name) embarked on a quest I never thought I’d see.

After 40 years, he is giving up cigarettes.

Of course, I’ve never known a time when he didn’t smoke. He started the year he graduated high school (1969), and with the exception of one brief period — during which his family begged him to please go out for a cig before they all lost their minds — he never stopped. Until yesterday afternoon.

I don’t understand the pull of nicotine addiction, having never experienced that particular craving. But from what I have seen from Thriller, my sister Mavis, and many other members of my family (I come from a long, long line of habitual smokers), it is intense. I have been a smoker myself in the past, but had no trouble laying them down. And since they’re now up over $6 a pack (and in some locales, as much as $7.50), lots of people are laying them down. From an article in the Nashville News:

Come April 1, the federal tax on a pack of cigs increases to $1.01. Add in a state tax increase to 62 cents a pack, and a pack of Camels or Marlboros will soon run you $6.75. Parliaments and American Spirits will jump to about $7.50.

To keep smokers from retreating to more cost-efficient grounds, lawmakers also raised the tax on roll-your-own tobacco by a stunning 2,200 percent. The federal tax on a pound will go from $1.09 to $24.78.

Yikes. Suffice it to say that the Thriller’s decision to quit (based mostly on the fact that, as he said, “I’m killing myself,” but also on the ridiculous price hikes) has my respect and admiration. I can only imagine how difficult it must be.

He is using his pipe to help him through the first few days. That’s fine, especially since he predicts that the constant messing with keeping it lit will be such a massive pain in the hind-end that he’ll give it all up, sooner or later. Sounds like a plan to me. Anything is better than his former pack-and-a-half-a-day habit.

It will be a challenge and a long haul for him, I’m sure. But there are those of us who want him to see his grandchildren grow up. He knows it’s worth it. So, shout out to the Thriller if you’ve a mind to. He’ll need all the encouragement we can give him.

Fink out.