And that’s one of the nicer descriptors.

See here now, fiends. It’s time to give it up; time to cash in on the outrageously expensive, bloated, consummately idiotic donkey of a failure that is the “War on Drugs.” We’ve given it a good go. Cripes, it’s been since 1971. Isn’t 43 years long enough to finally decide that what we’re doing isn’t working?

Remember Prohibition? It only took those Einsteins 13 years to figure out how utterly pointless it is to try and legislate — then enforce — morality choices in this country. When will we progressive, savvy, 21st-century thinkbombs get it?

Look. Pornography is legal. Cigarettes are legal. Alcohol of all kinds is legal. Opiates in pill form are legal. You can go to what’s-her-name dot com and have an extramarital affair. Turn on the TV and you can watch sex, murders, rapes, beatings, and all manner of unseemly, inhuman behavior against others of your species. You can watch a man court a harem of pathetic, gold-digging, attention-starved chicks, sleeping with any number of them over a span of eight weeks, while the girls themselves put up with it, hook, line and sinker, in teary-eyed hopes that he might pick me. You can do all that — but you can’t buy something that’s been used for medicinal and recreational purposes for thousands of years. Thousands of years. 

What would be so bad about putting a crimp in the Mexican drug cartels’ cannabis profits? Or decreasing the violence associated with the marijuana trade so drug enforcement agencies could concentrate more on the truly dangerous infiltrations of heroin and cocaine? Of course, there are problems with every regulatory system, but there doesn’t have to be a problem with weed. Tax it up one side and down the other, just like booze and cigs, so the Feds are happy. The pot smokers will be less happy, but they’ll be at Taco Bell, so they won’t care.

What, you’re not happy? Too bad. I’m not happy about a lot of things that I find reprehensible in this world, but the time comes when you have to stop trying to control everyone else. We wanted this free country; now we’ve got it — and all the crap that goes along with it. But it goes further than that. Here’s a nice, round number for you:

Deaths attributable to alcohol (a legal substance) in the US, PER YEAR: approx. 88,000

Eighty-eight. Thousand. A year. Now I’m not saying that a baked 17-year-old Chieferson behind the wheel is a good thing, or that it has never resulted in a deadly crash or other fatal event. It’s a big country with a lot of stupid, sad people. I’m sure it’s happened. But 88,000 times on average? Doubtful. And I doubt very much it would reach that level even if it were legal. Either way: it’s a choice. No one would dare in their mildest, mellowest, sticky-induced stupor suggest making alcohol — a proven killer — illegal in this country. It wouldn’t be fair to all those who drink responsibly; nor would it be tolerated for a New York friggin’ minute by the powerful booze lobby in Washington. Are you kidding me? Prohibition AGAIN? No way. We’ll just keep that license to kill, thank ya — and its dirty cousin Tobacco, too. But it’s the big fat no to big fatties — stupid 10,000-year-old proven treatment anyhow. We’d rather fight endless border wars and smugglers, and put folks in jail for decades for possession of a half ounce of it, while murderers and rapists beat rap after rap, as we continue to blindly pour billions upon billions in US tax dollars down the WoD rathole, only to have more illegal drugs enter the country with impunity.

That’s the ‘Murrican way, lemmetellya. I don’t like it, either. But I’d rather see them legalize pot and put a dent in the cartels (and ease some of the overcrowding in our prisons and county jails), than watch this costly “war” drag on for another 43 years with no end in sight.

So there.

Hey, did I mention I had a really good rehearsal yesterday afternoon? How about that? Me, driving home, not wanting to plow into the nearest light pole. Only really bad part of the weekend was not getting to see my grandsons. That will be fixed soon enough, trust me.