OK, time for another installment of Ask the Rat, since the first one was a success. Ask, and it shall be answered. And since I’ve been up since 2 a.m., I’ve had lots of time to think of wise things to say.
One day, I shall write an Ask the Fiends column, just so I can get answers on how long someone can go without sleeping through the night. I want to cut off my right leg about now. Just throw it in ze dumpster. But hey, does that sully my sunny disposition? Mais non. I’m losing two talented students to another school district today; why should hip joints and lost teenagers bother me? Am I making sense? Do I have a fever? I think maybe the whole never-reaching-deep-sustained-restful-sleep thing is getting to me. I could crack up any day now.
Hmm. I guess I have a rattitude after all. That’s all right, though; it will make it even more pleasurable to address your burning questions about life, love, music, people, lambs and toads and tree sloths and fruit bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals.
Ready, steady, ax. Dear Rat Fink…