OK, time for another installment of Ask the Rat, since the first one was a success. Ask, and it shall be answered. And since I’ve been up since 2 a.m., I’ve had lots of time to think of wise things to say.

One day, I shall write an Ask the Fiends column, just so I can get answers on how long someone can go without sleeping through the night. I want to cut off my right leg about now. Just throw it in ze dumpster. But hey, does that sully my sunny disposition? Mais non. I’m losing two talented students to another school district today; why should hip joints and lost teenagers bother me? Am I making sense? Do I have a fever? I think maybe the whole never-reaching-deep-sustained-restful-sleep thing is getting to me. I could crack up any day now.

Hmm. I guess I have a rattitude after all. That’s all right, though; it will make it even more pleasurable to address your burning questions about life, love, music, people, lambs and toads and tree sloths and fruit bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals.

Ready, steady, ax. Dear Rat Fink…

And now I shall entertain your most earnest wonderings. Your burning questions. Your stickiest situations.

The newest Finkweb category: Ask the Rat.

Do you pine for answers? Do you need guidance? Seek ye wisdom? If so, then post. All shall be revealed. Serious or facetious, personal or professional, earnest or silly. [OK, not too personal.]

Questions/dilemmas can be about anything. (Disclaimer: no, I won’t do your research paper for you. At least not for free.)

Savvy? All right then — type.

PS – In order for this to work, I shall need articulate and compendious responses. So let’s get on it, shall we? I’ll start you off. Dear Rat Fink…

Ready, steady, go.