Fifteen.

Fifteen pounds gone. Fifteen more to go. Fifteen years in, fifteen years to retirement. (Not that I’m all about retirement, mind. I will probably never completely retire; I’d drive my family stark-raving mad. Pretty sure I’d end up sleeping with the fishes.)

Sometimes I regret not having started teaching when other people my age did. Those folks are now looking at only three more years until retirement. But then I think back on what I did while my contemporaries were going to college — raising my sons and being a stay-at-home mom during the day and a working musician at night — and it was actually very rewarding. I’m glad I did it that way. So it’s all good.

Speaking of good, I had my first rehearsals with most of the choirs yesterday. My vocal jazz ensemble shows real promise, as does my high school choir (only 83 this time — a much more workable number). Sixty-seven in 7th/8th choir, and ninety in 5th/6th. Lots of music to do this year, as well as the fourteen thereafter…

Enjoy your Finkday. Weekend’s almost here.

I must say this looks good. Have a peek at what’s premiering this coming Monday:

Remember Mark Paul Gosselaar from Saved By the Bell ? He is the lead in the series, playing a cynical, disillusioned public defender named Jerry, who no longer believes in the legal system. This role is a fur piece from playing hunky “Zack.” And aside from the guy going, “You are the most amazing lawyer in the world” or whatever he said, the script sounds pretty good; I’ma give it a looksee.

Have a dandy Wednesday.

Fink out.

PS – the Tribe won their 9th in a row last night, putting them in 3rd place in the division. Now all they have to do is win the next 11 while Chicago and Minnesota lose the next 11, and they might have a shot…

So. When your car engine stalls, you drift off to the shoulder of the road, or stop and put your flashers on.

When your airplane engine stalls, you fall from the sky and die. Or, if you’re lucky, you land in a tree and escape with your life.

I know, I know. The conventional defense is delivered eloquently at epicdisasters.com:

While airline disasters are spectacular and often cause tragically large losses of life, it’s worth noting that airline travel remains among the safest modes of travel. In a statistical sense, airplanes are far safer than cars. Each day, three million people fly. In 2000, commercial airliners carried 1.09 billion people on 18 million flights, while suffering only 20 fatal accidents. On the other hand, automobile accidents kill more than 40,000 each year in the United States alone.”

I hear it, I read it, I see it, I understand it. But it’s the “tragically large loss of life” I struggle with, feel me? I suppose there are those who say, “Oh well…when it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go.” Agreed. But I’d rather not go that way, if it’s all the same to you. As many car accidents as there are, I would think that the majority of them do not end in a ball of flame with the passengers trapped inside — if not dying from incineration, dying from smoke inhalation (although I’ll concede that there are plenty of nasty ways to die in a car, too, and on a boat and at a football game and in the grocery).

But there can be minor car accidents. Fender-benders. You can survive a massive heart attack. Is there such thing as a “minor plane crash?” If I’m making up percentages, I’d say 98% of the time, no. Even at an altitude of, say, 200 feet, when you ram a 182-ton aircraft even gently into the ground, bad things are probably going to happen to the jet fuel and you’re going to hurt people. In a car, mechanical failure often means you’re stranded at worst. In a plane, you’re stranded, and on fire. No thanks.

Years ago, on a flight from Cleveland to Denver, I had the good fortune (???) to sit beside a commercial airline pilot, who was snagging a ride home to Colorado. We struck up a conversation while waiting to taxi to the runway, and exchanged what we did for a living. I was quick to tell him, “I’m terrified of this experience, and it doesn’t get any better with time and repetition.” He was kind and encouraging, and only slipped up once, when he told me, “The most dangerous times are taking off and landing. You burn that much jet fuel at high speeds and it can be lethal.” Right. Thanks for that.

Yesterday’s news didn’t help me process my paralyzing fear of airplanes. Gotta keep trying. But for now, I choose not to fly.

In other news — it’s the first day of school. Yay!

Rat Fink, aviation weenie

Photo credits: Associated Press

Actually, I can’t remember. But I must say that I don’t feel “old” at all. Last night, after the last of my wonderful fam went home, the Thriller and I sat on the porch swing and chatted. In between the jokes about “what we’re gonna do next year for your 50th,” I got to thinking — I don’t feel old.

So I guess the adage “you’re as young as you feel” applies here. Either that, or I’m just delusional. Either way, it’s all good.

Off to the school house with my bad self.

So get this:

Recently, I was contacted by the public relations department at the TBS television network in Atlanta. Turns out, RtB has been showing up on somebody’s screen down there. They asked me if I was interested in previewing some of their upcoming shows before they air, and writing about them here. I might even get to interview some of the talent.

How about that? I am the luckiest fink in the world. I’m also probably one of many people like this, but hey, it still sounds like fun.

The Thriller asked me what I got out of the deal. Well, a huge kick, for one thing. A possible occasional link on the TBS site for another. After that, who knows…

So, with the introduction out of the way, here’s a look at what’s in the early stages of production at TBS:

Valerie Bertinelli to Star in TBS Comedy

Remember Valerie from the 70s sitcom, One Day at a Time, where she played one of the daughters of single mom Bonnie Franklin? I wanted to be her. Actually, she and I were/are a lot alike: the same age, built the same, same emotional and physical struggles.

News is that Valerie is currently filming an as-yet-untitled pilot for TBS, where she plays — a-ha — a single mother of two. Her husband abandons the family and she is left with the task of running a lumber yard and keeping her kids and her sanity intact.

Michael Wright, senior veep for the Content Creation Group for TBS, TNT and TCM says:

Between Valerie’s comic skills and [writer/exec producer] Dave Caplan’s highly relatable humor, we’re very excited to watch this pilot take shape.”

Well, me three. Count me in. No word on the premiere date yet. I’ll keep you posted if I hear anything.

Valerie Bertinelli is a serendipitous choice for me this week, as Mavis and I are concluding a summer of self-transformation. [For those new to Finkville, Mavis is my only, and older, sister.] We have both struggled with food issues all our lives, and finally took control of it this summer.

I want to read Valerie’s new book. Talk about transformation! Sheesh…I’ll add it to the stack of eight that I’m trying to get to, while at the same time getting ready for school to start, finally finishing that evil orchestration project, spending time with Jake, and hating on eBay.

So watch for [Funny Show Title Here] from TBS, starring Valerie Bertinelli. I imagine I will have updates on the show — and other shows in the works at TBS — from time to time. Keep it tuned to RtB.

Fink out (to the kitchen to make the quiche for Heidi’s shower — yummy).