Category Archives: Random Neuron Firings

Waxing nostalgic

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Bring back the days when cartoons were actually funny.

Don’t you find it odd that although children’s animated television programs have morphed into the tiresome, politically correct, good-always-wins-with-as-little-violence-as-possible cookie cutter format, our culture is more violent than ever?

I mean, come on. Most of us who were raised on Warner Brothers/Merrie Melodies cartoons turned out all right, didn’t we? Honestly. What’s wrong with Daffy Duck repeatedly smashing into a tree while trying to impress Porky Pig with his Robin Hood-like skills?

I must admit, Daffy is my #1 favorite cartoon character of all time. Definitely one of genius Mel Blanc’s most offensive and obnoxious creations, Daffy would always get what was coming to him — and still come back for more. That was hilarious to me as a kid. Actually, it’s hilarious now, too.

What substitute is there for the spinning of the quarterstaff? [“Actually, it’s a buck-and-a-quarter quarterstaff, but I’m not tellin’ HIM that.”] “Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!” *boing*…beak folds in half

Now friends….that’s comedy. And Daffy always got the best lines.

Ok, there may be *one* Blanc character more obnoxious than Daffy. That would be my husband’s favorite, the anger management poster boy: Yosemite Sam.

When I say ‘whoa,’ I mean WHOA!

Missed again, ya shovel-nosed mackerel!

Ya better say yer prayers, ya flea-bitten varmint. I’m a-gonna blow ya to smithereenies!

I’ll blast yer head off fer this!

Now I ask you. What’s wrong with getting a little laughter from watching a six-gun-packin’ cowboy midget sociopath get thrown from the parapet of a castle — ten times?

Granted, these cartoons were not originally made for children. Rather, they served as warm-up, short features before the main movie was shown at theaters. It’s easy to tell that they were geared towards adults; many of the characters spoke lines, made gestures, and were even drawn by the animators to simulate modern-day celebrities, politicians, and cultural norms. But hey, we didn’t know that. We just thought they were funny.

Now we have Barney and Dora the Explorer. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But geez, bring back some anvils dropping on Foghorn Leghorn, or Bugs Bunny and Daffy going at it:

“Rabbit season!”

“Duck season!”

“Rabbit season!”

“I say it’s duck season, and I say FIRE!”

:0)

Ho ho. Very funny. Ha ha. It is to laugh.

Am I mental?

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Ok, fiends. So I’ve been in a bit of a fog. As you all know, I’m all about looking, feeling and staying younger. Then I saw this picture of Jamie Lee Curtis on the cover of the latest AARP mag. Interesting what she says in the interview, too:

“I want to be older. I actually think there’s an incredible amount of self-knowledge that comes with getting older. I feel way better now than I did when I was 20. I’m stronger, I’m smarter in every way, I’m so much less crazy than I was then.

“I’ve let my hair go gray. I wear only black and white. Every year I buy three or four black dresses that I just keep in rotation. I own one pair of blue jeans. I’ve given away all my jewelry, because I don’t wear it.”

Yikes. I read it twice, then three times. Am I going about this all wrong? Should I let my hair go gray, and give away all my precious dangly earrings and Native American rings, watches and necklaces?

I must say, her hair style looks incredibly tempting. Think of the time I’d save in the mornings…

Should I rejoice in getting older? Becoming more mature; more serious about the beauty of life? Should I stop this insane, smart-aleck behavior? Should I be less cynical, and more docile and agreeable? Should I stop listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan?

I think I should. Ok. From now on, I’m acting more grown up. For real. For good.

Oh by the way…this is flippin’ hilarious.

 

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Do you remember…

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I found a link this morning (somewhere, can’t recall) to some advertising slogans and photos. It led me to ads from the 1960s and 70s – my Golden Era – and I got to laughing about some memories. So while this may bore those under the age of, oh, 45, it should make those of us “more mature” readers have a flashback or two:

Remember “Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific” shampoo?

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And how about “Sweet Honesty” perfume? (Yep, that’s Pam Dawber from Mork and Mindy, pre-rhinoplasty.)sweethonesty.jpg


But seriously, this was a huge tragedy:

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I remember our mom taking Mavis & me to a matinee showing of The Magic Sword when I was like 5 years old. All I remember of the movie is a man and a woman meeting and coming together in an embrace. As the man hugs the woman, the camera zooms in on the girl’s face – which begins (through stop-motion photography, like the old werewolf films of the fifties) to change into the face of a hag. Next thing I knew, I was yelling with my hands over my ears, while crawling underneath the chair. I remember Mother trying to find me, saying “It’s all right! It’s all right!” I think we left the movie early. I can’t really recall…apparently, I’ve repressed the memory.

Finally, this is truly fantastic. As a choral director for a hundred years now, I think I can say with relative confidence that I know what it takes for a kid to sing in tune, let alone with professionalism and uncanny precision and style – at six years old. Well, friends, the Osmond Brothers embodied that. What a lucky stroke that I found them on this YouTube video, singing with the also-incomparable Andy Williams (what a voice). Marie even makes an appearance.

This is as fine and tight of a barbershop harmony as you will ever hear – and half the quartet wasn’t even 10 years old yet. Amazing. I tried to embed the video here, but the blog software doesn’t like it for some reason. So it’s here. Enjoy!

“Hate” is a strong word.

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That’s what my mother always said, and she told my sister and me to avoid using it. But I think she’ll forgive me, because let’s face it: we all hate stuff. Let me hear an amen on any of the following (or you could say, “Hey, I like #whatever” – but you’d be weird).

  1. I hate inconsiderate drivers.
  2. I hate it when people bring small children to concerts or ball games and let them run wild.
  3. I hate the reasoning: “You’re different than me and I don’t understand you, so you must be bad.”
  4. I hate it when people assume that just because someone is overweight, he or she is lazy or stupid. (I know one HECK of a lot of skinny idiots – trust me on this.)
  5. I hate always, always, always reaching into the wrong pocket for my keys.
  6. I hate American Idol for what it suggests to young people (that you can get something for nothing just because you’re cute and can sound like so-and-so).
  7. I hate forgetting stuff. Like today, when I forgot something a student needs for tonight’s rehearsal. It’s at home. Nice one.
  8. I hate all labor unions. Period. (That’s a rant all unto itself.)
  9. I hate not seeing my grandson more often.
  10. I hate it when I get into a long traffic jam, and after creeping along at 5 mph for 30 minutes, the highway suddenly opens up, and there’s no trace of there ever having been a problem. Bizarre…
  11. I hate it when people say, “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget.” Well then, precious, you haven’t forgiven, because forgiving is forgetting.
  12. I hate it when people can’t be nice.
  13. I hate it that I can’t understand how friends can be horrible to each other.
  14. I hate getting my feelings hurt/hurting others’ feelings.
  15. I hate that many of my 11-year-old students openly watch R-rated movies.
  16. I hate sarcasm directed at a person. (“Sarcasm” – to have fun at someone else’s expense; usually involves direct humiliation of victim and results in the perp’s feeling superior, when in fact he/she is demonstrating an exponential level of tacky, vile, insecure, ugly behavior.)
  17. I hate Pharisees.
  18. I hate it that women who date younger men are defamed, and men who date younger women are envied.
  19. I hate it that many consider all teachers to be spoiled rotten whiny-babies who take three full months off every year, for which they are paid. That’s like saying that all ministers are pedophiles, or that all accountants are embezzlers, or that all professional athletes are dopers, or … ok, you get the idea.
  20. I hate it when I disappoint people, which makes me hate all the more my tremendous fear of failure….*gulp*

What do you hate?

I want:

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  1. A heated driveway.
  2. Ken Burns’ Jazz on DVD.
  3. A new vehicle.
  4. This doctoral program to be over with.
  5. To pass my comprehensive exams in January.
  6. A raise.
  7. My Dinner Theatre show to be good.
  8. Someone to say, “Hey, I got your student loans covered.”
  9. Pinwheel cookies.
  10. Mo money.
  11. Time with my grandson.
  12. To take the Thriller to Vegas for a week.
  13. People to be nice, and not hold grudges.
  14. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
  15. To not see male students wearing jeans 2 sizes too big, and female students wearing shirts 2 sizes too small.
  16. To live the rest of my natural life without hearing the phrase, “baby bump.”
  17. To look 35. Forever.
  18. People to do their jobs.
  19. My paycheck to be commensurate with the work I do, rather than for how many years I’ve been on the payroll.
  20. My sister to be healthy.
  21. Gas prices to go down.
  22. To win “Singing Bee.” I could so smoke everyone on that show.
  23. My sons to be happy (fortunately, they are because they have great ladies in their lives)
  24. To have time to write another book.
  25. To meet my biological father, ask him why he left us 47 years ago, and then get out our guitars and jam.