Sometimes I have to take my temperature. Am I really a singer? Am I really a teacher of singers? If so, then why do I feel this way? Behold, the confessional:

I hate reality singing shows. Hate them. You name the latest reality singing show, and I will say, “Yep. Hate it.” I guess I hate where popular music singing style has gone. The more upper-register vocal gymnastics you can do, the better (and more marketable, which is the most important thing, isn’t it?) you are. In-tune singing has taken a back seat to “can you do licks like Xtina and Kelly?” I know I sound like somebody’s grammie here, but truthfully, it saddens me to see where things are going.

Don’t get me wrong: vocal gymnastics as a style definitely has its place. It’s like many other things I’ve noticed, though. We (Americans? Humans?) take a good thing and pet it and love it, then proceed to mass-produce it, choke it to death, and pound it into the ground.

On a lark, I watched the first 15 minutes of Duets last night. The opening featured Kelly Clarkson and Robin Thicke singing something, I can’t remember. Kelly had a singular apparent goal: see how loud, overbearing, and lick-heavy you can be. Forget smoothness of line, or establishment of a melody. Just get the back handsprings in there. Try to be Aretha, except unlike Aretha, scream every lyric. It was painful, and I turned it off after hearing John Legend prattle on about choosing a previous song that was too low for his duet contestant, then watching him parade her onstage with a new song that was also too low for her. Bah.

How many singing reality shows are there on the air right now? I couldn’t even guess. Can’t find a definitive list, but I can tell you it’s too long. And the networks are laughing all the way to the bank.

I hate beatboxing. Vocal percussion to those in the know, and VP to the kool kids. I love a cappella singing — and pop a cappella singing — but I absolutely loathe the spitting-in-the-microphone, gangsta-hand-gesturing, mic-choking pretentious tragically hip look-at-me-I’m-wearing-a-fedora boompa-chick crap. Always have, always will.

sigh

So am I mental? Probably. But it’s a happy place.

Hey, for all you private sector fiends — it’s Finkday!

So I was making some repairs in my broken links list this morning (a never-ending task when you’ve linked 5,334 of them in posts since February of 2008), and ran across a post whose comments I thought I’d long ago deleted. Imagine my utter delight at finding them again. Ah, David Soul.

Had me a good laff.

If you’ve ever looked at the image caption on RtB’s The Law page, you’ve seen a David Soul reference, and maybe wondered why it was there. After you read the link below, you’ll understand. Not that people like him are arrogant, puffed-up, irrelevant, conceited, aging roosters trying to relive evaporated long-ago fame by Googling their own names, but…

Well, I’ll let you judge for yourself. Ladies and germs, from 2008: Cool TV II.

Bonus for this post: I’ve mentioned his name enough times that he might find me again. Happy Day!

What, again with the questions? Puzzling issues plague me this day, my last official work day of the school year.

1. I know why some people are intentionally unkind (slamming others to make themselves feel superior, schadenfreude, trying to cover their own insecurities by pointing out those of others, etc.). What I don’t know is why the people around them — closest to them — allow it.
2. Why do people selectively quote bible verses to support their agendas as to what is proper behavior or not, but ignore other passages that weaken them? I mean, couldn’t we go on and on about the oppression of women being acceptable in biblical times? Or slavery, or murder, or judgment being visited on the children for the father’s sins? What about the trustworthiness of the translators of the Hebrew/Greek texts into Latin, and then the Latin bible into English — medieval “scholars” with their own agendas? This all makes me sad. I’m aware of the pitfalls of two wrongs not making a right, and pointing fingers and saying, “Yeah, but look at THIS,” but can we not arrive at some consensus that not all things are hard and fast in the scriptures? Could some human, somewhere along the line, at some point, have dropped the translation ball?
3. Why can’t people just defer sometimes? Is it that much of a deal breaker? Honestly. One of my secret desires (well, not secret anymore, right?) is to be less “teller” and more “asker” in my life. People are not dying to hear my opinion on every little thing (that’s why I have finkweb.org), and I don’t always have to be boss (unless I’m in rehearsal ). I can tell you the work is paying off. As I’ve said before, I have seen too many people get hurt — too many relationships damaged or killed — by one or both parties’ unrelenting need to be right.

Geez, why so serious this morning? It’s Contract Day! Yippy! I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend.

Now — answer me my questions three.

Welp, here we go, fiends. In weather that’ll melt your face off, the high school choir will sing at graduation at 2:00 today. Still debating about the robes. I mean, they only have to stand there for 20 minutes. What would you do? Could be worse. Could be 100 degrees, ja?

Regardless, nine hours from now, I will be motoring the Finkmobile back home to find the Thriller and Js waiting for me. Exciting! Tomorrow morning, when we take the boys back, I have absolutely no plans. None. The Thriller has to work on a research paper that’s due on Tuesday, and I am going to see what I feel like doing, then do it. I’m not hosting a Memorial Day cookout on Monday; I’m not going to one, either. Hmmm. What needs done tomorrow?

• Weeding the flower gardens
• Clearing out closets
• Spring cleaning that didn’t get done this spring
• Researching tunes for my recording session with BoomR
• Cleaning the garage
• Giving my classroom the royal treatment (clear out files, straighten shelves, and DUST everything, since dusting is not in the custodians’ job description per union rules)

Maybe I’ll choose one of the above; maybe I’ll read all day.

What are your plans for the holiday weekend? Anything fun we should know about?

I once again ask “Why?” today. You know, since it’s 1:12 a.m. and all.

1. Why is it that I’m the one who has to get up at 5 a.m. and go to work, but I’m the one Rousseau comes to at 12:30 because he’s having tummy trouble and needs to go outside? Does he not know that the Thriller doesn’t have to get up early?
2. Why do my students make me want to launch puppies across the Grand Canyon every moment leading up to a performance, but then sing like angels at the concert?
3. Why can’t Vinnie Pestano and Chris Perez pitch like that all the time?
4. Why is it so easy to assume we have all the information on a thing, when in fact we have very little? Assumptions can be (and often are) dangerous, especially when entire schools of thought are built on them.
5. Why is it impossible for me to go back to sleep once I’ve been awakened in the night? I ask this, of course, while Rousseau snores peacefully at my feet.
6. Why has the school year gone so fast? (And why on earth am I complaining about it?)

Dog is awake again, poor thing. Strap in, cousin. It’s gonna be a long, long night. Oy, warum?