Cracking up

Dual definitions, ja? I claim them both this day.

Cracking up: going on my third week of sleeping only 25-30 minutes at a time. (Flip over, wake up, Owwwwieeeeee ow ow ouch OUCH, reposition, wait for pain to subside, go back to sleep, repeat.) That’ll crack you up sure as you’re sitting there, Jim.

Cracking up: my amused reaction at yet another email, saying “I want your Twitter/email username.” Today’s installment, from a gentleman named Hayakawa, read thusly:

Why do you name RATFINK?
I want this account.

Well, too bad, luv. Not that my Twitter username is of national importance, but I guess I got lucky. Same with my Gmail address, which is just “my first and last name” at gmail.com. Those of you who know me know that both are quite common. According to How Many Of Me, there are 3,985 people in the US alone with my exact name (there are 10,000+ with the Thriller’s name, yipes). Again, sorry…I got an early Gmail invite and snapped up the easy username.

So I give ’em all the same spiel: half a mil US in a cashier’s check from a major American financial institution, and when the funds clear, I give you the password and walk away. I’m not greedy; I just want to pay off my mortgage and school loans, and put the rest away for retirement and college funds for my grandchildren. I don’t ask for much. Am I a good guy or what?

Is it OK to hate school right now?

11 thoughts on “Cracking up

  1. Country Mouse

    I was curious so I checked out my name on the “How Many of Me” site. I guess I’m unique – there is only one of me out there!!!! Must be that spelling thing!!!!

    Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      I checked it on your name, too. Only 1 person in the country! But then get this…

      I’m in Progress Book, doing my weekly grades, and I notice the middle name of one of my students. NO WAY! For real!!!

      Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      I know, doll. I’m torn between the joint not being “bad enough” to replace (I can still walk a straight line with no pain…it’s just the turning side to side that kills), and running the risk of being a “three-time loser” — having to get it redone twice instead of once before I buy the farm. The doc says that maybe, in 10 years, we wouldn’t even have that conversation, because the materials they use would be so greatly improved. I know though…I can’t take this circus much longer!

      Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      It wasn’t too bad today, was it? I thought things went well…but then, I’m so loopy nowadays from lack of sleep, who knows? You could have really sounded horrible and I wouldn’t notice. HA

      Reply
  2. Rat Fink Post author

    Dude.

    The word “ratfink” has been around in the English language for a long, long time; long before Ed Roth used the name for his comic book dragster cartoon character.

    I do not sell Rat Fink products, or have any interest in the Rat Fink media enterprise. According to the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, a ratfink is a “person regarded as contemptible, obnoxious, or otherwise undesirable.”

    That describes me perfectly. :-)

    I hope this helps.

    Reply
  3. Rat Fink Post author

    OK, fiends. The original poster asked me to delete his comments, so if my responses below don’t make sense, it’s because I’m answering someone who isn’t there anymore. This was by far the weirdest exchange since the David Soul incident…and if you remember that, you’ve been with me awhile! I’ll have to tell that story again sometime. I really regret deleting his comment in an angry rage. HA

    Reply
  4. RD

    According to the web site “How Many of Me” there is “1 or fewer people” in the U.S. with my name.

    Isn’t there any medication that can control the pain so that you can sleep? Is the physical therapy helping at all?

    Reply
    1. Rat Fink Post author

      I know, I checked your name, too! “One or fewer” cracked me up. :-)

      I suppose I could take narcs for the pain, but I’m afraid to. I know how they affect me, and I don’t want to feel more like a zombie than I already do! I wish like heck I could say that the chiropractic is helping, but it’s not. I need to sleep in traction — that’s the ticket!

      Reply

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