If 50 is the new 30…

…then my day is made.

As anyone who knows me already knows, I think about aging. A lot. Probably too much. I also tend to bristle ever so slightly at those who wave me off and say, “Aw, just enjoy it. Be who you are and don’t worry about what you look like.”

Do you know what a “pet peeve” is? Yeah.
Truth is, there are some realities that make the “50 is the new 30” thing a bit of a stretch. I know that. In an article from the Richmond Times-Dispatch (URL no longer active), we get the following skinny:

“We’re considering middle age now to be about 40 to 65 years of age,” [physical therapist Margaret] Herning said. “People are living so much longer.”

Although people may think and even act 30, their bodies won’t do what 30-year-old bodies can do, experts say.

Even people in top shape need to recognize they’re not kids anymore, says Dr. John Morley, chief of geriatrics at St. Louis University School of Medicine. “You cannot be at 50 what you were at 30.”

I know, I know. But it doesn’t mean I don’t try. I fight age every single day, and I will until they throw the dirt on me. Still…
The things we used to do without thinking about it become a little more complicated, a little more painful, a little more difficult, and we become aware of our need to make changes…At this point in life, whether it’s 50, 51, 55, a lot of things change,” [Morley] says. “And those changes can take you by surprise.”

And how. But some people continue to defy the odds. Look at Susanna Hoffs of the Bangles. She and I are the same age. Hmm. Of course, she has an infinitely larger resource pool for plastic surgery than I do, but she looks wonderful all the same.

I know. I’m starting a fund. Save the Fink’s Face. Please contribute. I covet your generosity in my time of need.

All right, back to augmented sixth chords. As you know, my life is a friggin’ party.

Fink out.

9 thoughts on “If 50 is the new 30…

  1. PKPudlin

    I was lucky. When I was 5, my grandpa told me, “You don’t have to grow up if you don’t want to.”

    So I didn’t.

    That being said, just remember that old age and treachery will win out over youth and inexperience every time.

  2. BoomR

    When I show Bluvox or Mom Bluvox or other assorted friends pics of me from Ashland days (both college & when I was at the HS), they look shocked, say OMG, or LAUGH at pics of me back then – saying that in many respects, I look younger now than I did back then.

    Are you coming to my 50th birthday party this June?? Make sure to bring your 2-piece…it’s a pool party/bbq and you can have the first ride on the pony!

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Blu is getting you a PONY!??! That is SO not fair.

      I’d love to come to the 50th bash — but alas, I will likely be taking my comp exams for the *2nd* time.

      6th of June, right?

  3. Ladybeams

    My body never lets me forget I’m not 30 anymore, or 29, or 18. LOL. It’s the inside that seems to have gotten lost in a time warp. I look at the women my age running around all the time and wonder where they get the energy! Of course, like you said about the plastic surgeons it would definitely help to have “staff” to take care of everything else.

  4. Stein

    For fear of getting cruelly and relentlessly beaten I will put this in my narrow perspective… I am not sick nearly as much as when I was 13. My decision making skills are much better than when I was 17. Heck, my ability and motivation to organize is better than last year. Not to mention the fact that I now have the ability to support myself by myself! I know my joints are going to fall apart, but I’ll take that any day over being ridiculed by my peers because of my awkward build or excessive acne. JUST MY TWO BITS!
    P.S. Those who force themselves to look younger will only be presenting lies to their friends and family. Those who love you will accept you regardless.


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