It is here.

Whilst I take a day off to deal with the monster in my living room, here’s something for your listening and dancing pleasure:

Shrek the Musical (???)

The Thriller and I were talking last night about Rod Blagojevich‘s hair. It got me to thinking about other politicians who needed a tonsorial adviser.

Is there a link between bad hair and corrupt politics? Nah. But it was entertaining to revisit the case of former Ohio Representative James Traficant, currently serving 9 years for corruption and misuse of federal funds.

Only in Ohio. I mean, the guy is 100% certifiable. He shouldn’t be in the joint; he should be in the loony bin. The picture at the right was on his Congress homepage, fuh cryin’ out loud. A Washington representative, featured in an animated gif file of a bouncing two-by-four, saying “Bangin’ away in DC.” HA.

But it’s a sure bet he provided some great theater (and more than a few laughs) for his colleagues in Congress. Some great Traficant quotes from the Congressional floor and from his trial in 2002:

When I get out [of prison] I will grab a sword like Maximus Meridius Demidius, and as a Gladiator, I will stab people in the crotch.

I want you to disregard all the opposing counsel has said. I think they’ve had something funny for lunch in their meal. I think they should be handcuffed, chained to a fence and flogged. And if they lie again, I’m going to go over there and kick them in the crotch. Thank you very much.

If that is not enough to compromise your Viagra, the United Nations has created a world court with universal authority and jurisdiction. Unbelievable. What is next, a world tax? Beam me up.

Beam me up here. It is time to tell these crybaby IRS thieves that we are going to pass a 15% flat sales tax and abolish them altogether. I yield back what should be the next endangered species in the United States of America: The Internal Rectal Service.

I am not making this up, swear. Actually, some of the stuff Traficant ranted about actually made sense. But it doesn’t change the fact that he is indeed a wackjob. He ran for another term from jail (he didn’t win). Word on the street is that he has taken up drawing, and is quite good at it. Good for him.

I for one am particularly interested in witnessing Jimbo bust the promised “Maximus Meridius Demidius” move. That will make for great television.

OK, back to reality (come with me, Jim). See you on the other side of tonight.

Fink out.

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