Just shoot me II

Remember the brouhaha with my mortgage company being slimy thieves? Well get a load of this little gem.

We’ve been working with quite possibly the only sane person at CitiGroup: Ellen. She has been our port in the storm; our life preserver in an ocean of The Right Hand Hasn’t a Clue What the Left Hand is Doing. One enormous corporate monster with one employee capable of cogent thought. PTL. She put everything in motion to solve the idiotic mess her company created for us. She told me (after talking me down from the ledge last week) to call yesterday and make sure everything was put in place, and that she was so sorry that we’d been dragged through the mud like this. I texted the Thriller and said, “I think we’re finally out of the woods.”

After my last class left yesterday (and after a pretty good day of rehearsals), I called her. The customer service robot answered and I said, “Hello, may I speak with Ellen in the escrow office please?” Her response:

“Oh, yes. Well, Ellen took a position with another company.”

[This space intentionally left blank.]

Back to the drawing board — or to the Funny Farm, where life is beautiful all the time.

6 thoughts on “Just shoot me II

  1. Country Mouse

    “Ellen took a position with another company” can probably either translate into – “Ellen got tired of working with a bunch of idiots” or “We knew Ellen was doing a good job and it was making the other employees look bad so we canned her”!
    Be sure to put your helmet on before you bang your head up against the wall – it will save on brain damage!!!! :)

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Do you honestly believe it? In fact, Jenn D. was in my classroom at that time, and she probably thinks I’m Cocoa Puffs. I went, “WHAT? ARE YOU JOKING ME?” Then I started laughing maniacally. It was an absolute insane moment. Textbook theater. *Enter men in white coats with straitjacket*

      I swear…cripes!

  2. Kay

    Well girly girl stand in line!!! My dad has been gone since May 2009 and I am STILL trying to make sense of the estate. Most everything that has been done by the banks and the lawyer has been touched 3 times by me because they seldom get it right the first time. I have become Mama Eagle Eyes just to keep tabs and make certain the account numbers, the address, the names, the social security numbers are correct. AND…… if I ever here a faceless voice on the phone tell me “This is our policy.” I will join you in the funny farm.
    Here are MY POLICIES:
    NO I do not send a death certificate to close a credit card account that has no balance and has not been used for 5 years. Hear the scissors, I am cutting up this card!!
    NO I do not think that a change of address to the same address is appropriate!! Actually it is stupid.
    NO I do not think naming a bank account the wrong name is a good idea!! Could cause some confusion. Duh!
    YES I do expect you to do what you have said you have done. Stupid me!!
    YES I do expect you to return my phone calls or emails when I have contacted you to say that something is goofy. [I was told by the lawyer, “We never make mistakes” after I realized that they have not done something I have asked for for a year ;( ]
    YES I am going to start saving my money under the mattress if this is the competence of the banking industry.
    YES it makes be feel better to say it on a public forum. You win :)

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Ugh — I can’t believe you’re still struggling with all that. You know, I used to believe there were people at banks and other monster institutions who really cared about the little people. I don’t believe that anymore. I’m looking for someone to prove me wrong. I doubt it’ll happen anytime soon.

      “We never make mistakes.” Shyeah right. Honestly, it’s like talking to someone who doesn’t speak your language. The frustration is unbelievable. Or, it’s like trying to convince the asylum staff that you’re really not crazy. It’s futile — and infuriating.

      Yay, I win! Now about that Facebook account………………………….


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