Random Neuron Firings

Hey, remember when I posted that list of  Things You’d Never Know Without the Movie Industry? Yeah, me neither. So I looked it up. Then I found a few more that bear mentioning. Behold:

1. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman, but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
2. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
3. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
4. If you decide to hack into the CIA database, all you need is a laptop and an internet connection. It will usually take about 10 seconds to get into the system undetected.
5. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
6. All single women have a cat.
7. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
8. Creepy sounds coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
9. Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.
10. Never be afraid to jump off of a building into an open dumpster, as the contents will most likely always be clean, fluffy garbage bags.

And here’s one of my own:

Females never have to go to the loo. You always see men standing at those nasty wall things, but, you know. OK, moving on.

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Here’s a graphic artist’s rendering of what Michael Jackson might have looked like at 50 years old had he not had all the surgery. Very nice; respectable.

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Verbal irony:

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So do I have rehearsal today? Why yes, I do. But first, food.

And away we go.

First bright spot of the weekend: Bando’s Dinner Theatre performance tonight. Stoney and I plan to enjoy the food and the entertainment — and the dessert. What could be better?

Second, the Thriller and I are entertaining friends for dinner tomorrow night. Menu: pot roast, mashed potatoes, carrots & corn, dessert.

Third, I’m having my quartet over for rehearsal on Sunday, followed by lasagna. Then dessert.

Won’t be much of a weekend, but boy will I eat well. Ugh.

Happy Finkday – it’s finally here!

…there’d be days like this. Or days like yesterday. I just hope history doesn’t repeat itself today, especially since the Thriller was so kind as to donate his horrible cold to me. Whatever shall I do to repay him?

So yesterday I had to go to Mansfield after school. Since several main roads were closed due to flooding, I had to go the roundabout way. Took me about 50 minutes (usual drive is 35), but it didn’t bother me. I had high hopes on the way back to school; I was looking forward to my rehearsals. We’re now 23 days to opening, and I was excited to start putting things together onstage for the first time.

Well, not so fast, pard.

I thought I did a pretty good job of not launching into a tirade, so yay me. But 80% of my 19-member cast have not memorized their music. Difficult to stage a number when you don’t know what in tarnation is the next flipping line. I’m not sure how long I can hold off the tirade tide. Let’s just say the pressure on the levees is approaching critical mass. I’m sure those whose job it is to inspire teenagers can relate; or maybe it’s universal. All I know is the clouds are gathering in the distance.

I just happened to glance down at my desk, at the latest copy of Good Housekeeping that I haven’t yet had the chance to enjoy. One of the cover teasers reads, “The #1 trick to make your day go better.” Hmm. So I checked it out. Know what it is? An extra hour of sleep. Yep — that’s their #1 crankiness cure. HA – a quote:

Another study suggested that getting one extra hour of sleep each night would do more for your daily happiness than getting a $60,000 raise.

Well now. I say we try it first so I can do some independent research. I’ll provide the live body if someone else can furnish the sixty grand.

I’ll wait here for volunteers. *whistling, whistling, whistling* Meantime, please say a prayer for my cast tonight between 5:30 and 6:30 EST.

BFF Kay told me the other day, “When you say, ‘Do NOT go here,’ I don’t go there.” No, you’re not playing the game correctly.You’re supposed to go there. Amazing. She’s my best friend of almost 20 years and she takes my smart-aleck dorkball drivel seriously. Well, some of it anyway. I love her.

But you really may not want to go here today if you’re in a hurry — and especially if you’re a history geek in a hurry. I love Eyewitness to History.com. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Irwin Rommel’s forced suicide, as told by his son
2. The Massacre at Wounded Knee
3. The Hindenburg Explodes Over New Jersey
4. The Galveston Hurricane of 1900

[With regard to #2: the book is crucial reading for every American. It was life-changing for me. I’ve also got the movie in the Netflix queue, after forgetting all about it since that long-ago post.]

Well, let’s see if we’ve got school today…