The Thriller is in Columbus all day, and I’m here at home. Bizarre.
I am rarely alone (good for me, since I’m what you’d call a textbook extrovert), so when I have complete solitude, I sometimes wonder what to do with myself. There’s a list a mile long — though I haven’t written it down, of course — of tasks I need to get taken care of before we leave town at the end of the month, but here I sit, free and easy. Go crazy all year, running inside the small hamster wheel, then kablam — summer freedom. I feel like I’ve been shot out of a cannon, and I’m in endless, aimless flight.
I guess I’m so accustomed to having my days pre-populated, it’s difficult for me to deal with unstructured time. Do you ever feel that way? In some ways, I always fear summer vacation from school. Whereas most people (myself included) really look forward to it, it does hold some uncertainty, which bothers me ever so slightly. What to do with an “open” day?
Part of my squirminess comes from living in a self-imposed atmosphere of “idle hands are the devil’s playground.” In other words, nothing good can come of laziness; it doesn’t look good, for one thing, and idle time equals wasted time. Others have told me that my inability to relax and do nothing once in awhile (a pastime which, in many cultures, is viewed as healthy and rejuvenating) is fueled by fear of failure. Failure to produce, failure to succeed professionally. It’s a hamster wheel for sure.
What do you do with an open day? When you are presented with a vacation, how do you approach it? Are you able to just “switch off” the rat race and immediately relax, or do you have to work yourself into it? I’m still working, I fear…
So I guess I’ll go watch my DVR episode of The Borgias, then get to work. Work? On my vacation? Yeah, ‘fraid so. Can’t see myself doing much else today. Hmmph.