Ha. Hahaha. Heh heh ho ho.

“The part’s not in yet.”

Ya know………………………….

Answer me these questions three, ere the other side ye see.

1. Why is major change so hard to embrace?
2. Why do professional people think it’s acceptable to not return phone calls and emails?
3. Why is it that I’ve used a “Certificate of Live Birth” all my life to get everything from a passport to a Social Security number, and it’s not OK for Obama to use the same document to prove he was born in Hawaii? (I was told on the phone the other day that my original birth certificate was likely destroyed after my adoption.) All who know me know I hate politics and abhor nutjobs on both sides of the aisle, so this isn’t a partisan rant (cuz I don’t have a party, except in my mind every day). It’s just common sense, which apparently isn’t too common anymore…

Only then may you cross the Bridge of Death.

Fink, about to plunge headlong into the Gorge of Peril <dramatic music>

Today’s boot goes to: ME

“I’m going to go to bed an hour early. I’m exhausted.”

So what happens at 4:00 this morning, like the tides and the sunset and taxes? Criminetly. Let’s enjoy that 18-hour day today.

No matter. Tonight will be fun (I hope). Pit will be there for the first time, and the cast are improving on their energy, wardrobe changes, and in general, not wanting to run away screaming. This will be worth their aggravation. This will be worth their aggravation. This will be worth…

But as for me? BOOT to the head.

• Don’t get me started on the whole Jim Tressel thing.
• Don’t get me started on the 3-6 inches of snow that’s predicted for tonight.
• Charlie *yawn* Sheen — BOOT to the head. Don’t get me started.
• Don’t get me started on mean people.
• Don’t get me started on gas prices, and how they might totally smoke my vacation this summer.
• Don’t get me started on … well, anything.

Now, going back to bed? I could get started on that! Happy Thurfsday anyhow. Hugs and good wishes go out to our fiend and regular RtB offender RD, who has a heart catheterization today. Thinking of you, pal!

Well isn’t this just spectacular. Just when you think the LeBron madness couldn’t get anymore ridiculous, there’s this. Can it just please go away?

Here’s the biggest mistake many Cavs fans made: believing that James cares about them, and “HOME” (I saw the billboards in Cleveland the other day) and loyalty and bringing a pro sports championship of any kind to the state of Ohio. If he chooses to stay in Cleveland, it won’t be because of any of that. His behavior since February is proof positive of it, and this new insanity on ESPN drives the nail in for good. I mean really, since they’ve promised not to drag out the wait time for the announcement past ten minutes, how long will it take him to actually phonate where he’s going? Five seconds? How long does saying a city name like Cleveland, Chicago, Miami, East Rutherford or New York take?

The only ratings jump will be in the first ten minutes. After that, I’d bet that most of the fans in the aforementioned cities — with the exception of the one named by LeBron — will tune out. Idiotic.

LeBron James, his handlers and ESPN: BTTH. But this article — awesome. Haha. Yay for 20/20 perspective when needed.

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While flipping channels before bedtime last night, I came across this gem: Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC. In addition to illustrating the immeasurable lengths asinine maternal units will span in order to live vicariously through their poor daughters, this show reminded me of the old car accident saying: it’s horrifying, but you can’t look away.

Some of the cuter quotes I remember:

Mom #1, hissing in a whisper to her 4-year-old who didn’t want to wear a gargantuan wig onstage: “If you don’t wear the wig, you won’t win the Crown of Royalty!”

Mom #2, in an interview: “If Eden wins this, my $70,000 investment will have been worth it.”

Mom #3, in a startling moment of honesty: “I’m certain it’s more about what I want than what she wants.”

Fantastic. And there was so much more — not to mention the fact that people actually have pictures made of their 6-year-old daughters to look like this. No joke. That’s Regan — a real little girl. It’d be interesting to see how many pedophiles have these pageant sites bookmarked.

Child pageants, everyone who runs them, and especially the parents who exploit their kids in them: BTTH.

Children that age should be at the park, playing hide-and-seek in the big plastic tunnel.