Does anyone *ever* laugh at those stupid Progressive Insurance commercials, set in some virtual “insurance store,” where there’s an annoying cashier girl who tries to be cheeky? They’re unfunny. Offensively so. I mean, they’re not even remotely entertaining. I end up not hearing a word of the sales pitch because I’m too busy a) fumbling for the widget to change the channel, or b) getting up to leave the room.

Bottom line: Even *I* could write funnier copy.

The spots feature actress Stephanie Courtney, who — I’m sorry if I’ve said this already — is decidedly not funny. And unfortunately, it’s not just bad scripts on moronic commercials that have her snake-bit. The stuff she writes herself isn’t funny, either.

She’s probably a really nice lady, though. But it BEGS THE QUESTION (heh, had to do that): why do people like this make it in comedy/television, and other people who are infinitely funnier/more talented do not? Like some people I know?

Rhetorical. But it’s still a head-scratcher.

F. O.

Look who might be playing Catwoman in the next Batman movie:

No joke. I read it here. I think it’s great, actually. At 62, and even with a hundred plastic surgeries to her credit, she still looks good, and I think she’ll pull off nicely what the director envisions as Catwoman in her “twilight years.” Girlfriend can be snarky, that’s for sure. Remember how she used to insult Sonny on their variety show back in the 70s? I always loved Sonny. What a tragedy.

I liked Cher in Silkwood, Mermaids, and The Witches of Eastwick, among others. Can she do this? Meh. I think so.

Check out this photo — looks like she’s had some more work done. Cheek and jaw implants maybe (either that, or she’s gained some weight, which is not a bad thing for her, either).

I’ve read a lot of nasty comments about how she shouldn’t be playing Catwoman. People havin’ hissy fits about it. “Catwoman should be hot!”

Whatever. I say more power to her. If I have that kind of energy at 62 to keep my look together, I’ll be grateful.

I’ll go to the movie just to see how she plays the character. Ok, that, and to see Johnny play the Riddler.

Fink out.

Photo credits: top, cherworld.com; bottom, Reuters.com

Now here’s a movie that bites back. Personally, I think it’s silly, cheap humor — moronic, even. But you know…the entity called “liberals” has enjoyed mainstream popularity, which some would even call a monopoly, in entertainment over the last three-plus decades; anyone with gray matter knows that. Consequently, the animals called “conservatives” are generally — not always, but in general — depicted in their movies as loopy wackjobs or warmongers with no social conscience. Puppy kickers. Therefore, some liberal filmmakers love to pile it on thick (and some conservatives can’t take a joke).

Well, it seems the shoe is temporarily on the other foot. And I must say, I think the trailer is funny. It’s not right or sane or high art or politically correct — but it’s funny. And it’s causing all kinds of uproar.

Of course, I refer to American Carol, the new Zucker film, due out in October. The trailer shouts names like Kelsey Grammer, James Woods, Dennis Hopper, and “Rosie O’Connell” (HA). But what might be most offensive to those who stray to the left of center is the cameo by Satan himself: Bill O’Reilly.

I wonder why I can’t find the trailer on imdb.com or rottentomatoes.com…but O’Reilly got it. Maybe because he’s “in the cast” now. Or maybe it’s a liberal conspiracy. (KIDDING, geez)

Personally, I think many liberals would take it with a grain of salt — even laugh at it. It’s only the most mature, confident and self-realized people who can laugh at themselves. [It’s the ones who love to pitch the poo but not occasionally catch it who make me mad.] Liberal or conservative, if you can’t take a joke, get out of politics.

Anyway, here’s the trailer:

Yikes. I guess that’s why the word “satire” is often preceded by the word “biting.” David Zucker is no Republican lemming, however. This Weekly Standard article gives a solid look back at how Zucker came to be what he is: a rare advocate for nationalism in Hollyweird.

Annnnyway…on to another ambivalent topic. My visit with Kay yesterday was both wonderful and sad. We laughed a lot, took the obligatory “I’ll hold the camera at arm’s length and we’ll see what happens” photos, I made my famous cheezers for Bob, and we helped them clean up and get ready to leave.

It’s now 9:15 a.m. EST — Kay’s probably on the 3rd leg of her trip back to Slovenija now, if not there already (Bob is not far behind, on another flight). And another school year begins…

Have a great weekend, liberals and conservatives all. Fink out.

Be there. Aloha.

Now how great is this? Remember Jack Lord in Hawaii Five-0, saying that famous line after narrating the next episode’s preview trailer?

I had completely forgotten about Five-0. Mavis and I watched it pretty regularly growing up, as I recall. Although it wasn’t one of my all-time faves, I did enjoy watching it to see dreamy James MacArthur. Jack Lord (pictured at left) never really did much for me; I suppose I thought he was “old.” What was he, probably 40? 45? Feh. A mere pup.

This morning I happened to notice a link to an article about the return of Hawaii Five-0. So I did some cursory searching (as you do), and found a slew of Jack Lord/H50 sites — a veritable cult following, complete with photos, interviews, stories, obituaries, and, unfortunately, the dreaded monstrosity known as fan fiction. (Hork.)

Remember Kono, the big Hawaiian detective played by a guy named Zulu? I was intrigued by people who had only one name (gimme a break, I was twelve).

Another interesting fact: the show caused a skyrocket in Hawaii tourism. I had no idea. I wonder why its predecessor, Hawaiian Eye, didn’t have that effect. Hawaiian Eye was a little bit before my time, but I totally remember the opening sequence. And Robert Conrad was totally dreamy.

Hmmm…I smell a retrospective on Wild, Wild West.…

Fink out.