WordPress.

Now that I’m “in,” I’m at school. But there is much about which to rant, and I will save it for tomorrow. Meantime, feel free to save up your peeves. I covet them in the name of commiseration.

FO

Yes, time for another test. This time it’s for bacterial overgrowth in the small intestine. Appetizing, hmm?

It also means another day off school, since the test takes three hours and it’s in Cleveland. So this is a short week for me (we get Friday off). I’ll take one of those once in awhile, boyo.

While my colleagues and students are laboring away in the halls of academe, I’ll be drinking a huge glass of nasty sugar, breathing into a tube for three hours, and waiting for the lab results. Rather barbaric, wouldn’t you say? Hey, here’s some poison — let’s make ‘er drink it and see what happens.

My life is just one big party, lemmetellya.

Fink out (to Believeland)

…that gets you.

Disturbing news about Cisco Systems cutting their workforce (BoomR, we are all pulling for you, luv), the economy, the stress funnel of the last six weeks of school, health issues, doctor bills, the price of gasoline…it’s enough to send a girl to the moon, lemmetellya.

But then there’s that delicious oasis called “the personal day.”

Tonight, the Js come over to spend the night and all day tomorrow with Grammie, while their daddy is on the road and their mama goes to a math geek conference in Indianapolis (have fun, doll — you deserve it!). The piling up will take place in my absence.

BFF Kay told me on the phone the other day that she thought the ceiling of my classroom just might remain intact if I am not there (we were talking about the eventual hip replacement surgery). I’m not sure I want to test that theory. But one thing’s for sure: the piles of stuff to do will stay intact; indeed, they will be fruitful and multiply in my absence and gather en masse to greet me when I return.

So I’d best get going. Happy Overwhelmsday to you — now git bizzy.

FO

PS to PK — Saw the photos of your ribbon-cutting; congrats on the new place of bizzy-ness! <3

 

Dual definitions, ja? I claim them both this day.

Cracking up: going on my third week of sleeping only 25-30 minutes at a time. (Flip over, wake up, Owwwwieeeeee ow ow ouch OUCH, reposition, wait for pain to subside, go back to sleep, repeat.) That’ll crack you up sure as you’re sitting there, Jim.

Cracking up: my amused reaction at yet another email, saying “I want your Twitter/email username.” Today’s installment, from a gentleman named Hayakawa, read thusly:

Why do you name RATFINK?
I want this account.

Well, too bad, luv. Not that my Twitter username is of national importance, but I guess I got lucky. Same with my Gmail address, which is just “my first and last name” at gmail.com. Those of you who know me know that both are quite common. According to How Many Of Me, there are 3,985 people in the US alone with my exact name (there are 10,000+ with the Thriller’s name, yipes). Again, sorry…I got an early Gmail invite and snapped up the easy username.

So I give ’em all the same spiel: half a mil US in a cashier’s check from a major American financial institution, and when the funds clear, I give you the password and walk away. I’m not greedy; I just want to pay off my mortgage and school loans, and put the rest away for retirement and college funds for my grandchildren. I don’t ask for much. Am I a good guy or what?

Is it OK to hate school right now?

Boy do I need some simplicity right up through here. Don’t you? I ran across this list at Live the Charmed Life, and saw quite a few slap-yourself-on-the-head clues I’ve been missing. They’re all worth employing, because they’re all empowering. I need more of that this day; I need to accept the challenge.

A Hundred Ways to Uncomplicate Your Life

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds

2. Get up 30 minutes earlier so that you don’t 1) rush/get a ticket while driving too fast; 2) have to explain why you’re late

3. Get 8 hours of sleep per night so that you think more clearly

4. Stick to your budget

5. Start saving and investing every week, no matter how little you can spare

6. Balance your checkbook

7. Don’t try to be friends with everyone, but rather cultivate closer relationships with fewer people

8. Don’t try to do business with everyone; identify your target client and take very good care of them

9. Before getting angry, ask yourself if it will really matter in 20 years

10. Focus on being a good person, not on pleasing others

11. Stay home this Saturday, and finish off that nagging chore that you need to finish

12. Kiss and make up

13. Make a weekly menu, and shop for only those items at the market

14. Ask your grandparents the best way to uncomplicate life, and try it for a month

15. Fill up your gas tank when it’s half full

16. Don’t drink alcohol when you’re tired, sad or mad

17. Pay your bills on time

18. Get an annual physical examination

19. Say “I love you” to your significant other and to your children, every day

20. For just one day, imagine everyone’s intentions are good, because most people’s are

21. Give away clothes that haven’t been worn in two years

22. Throw out clothes that are in disrepair, and can’t be mended

23. When you have a conflict with someone, talk it out — don’t let it turn into more than it is

24. Know what your priorities are in life, and act as if they are your priorities

25. Tell the truth

26. Don’t cheat

27. Don’t steal

28. If you’re holding on to a ridiculous grudge, let it go

29. Clean your house weekly, so that it doesn’t become too large a chore

30. Do your best, at work or at school

31. Don’t eat when you aren’t hungry

32. Eat when you are hungry

33. Be yourself

34. Say no unapologetically

35. Cook simple meals

36. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses

37. Pay off your car before buying a new one

38. Organise your desk at the office

39. Change your smoke alarm batteries when the clocks spring forward, and again when they fall back

40. Organise your important paperwork

41. Take only half the clothes that you planned to take with you on holiday

42. Help your children with their homework every night, and have an open dialogue with their teachers

43. Have white sheets and white towels in children’s rooms/bathrooms, because they’re easily bleached

44. Spend your time with nice people

45. Avoid drama

46. Don’t text or talk on the phone while driving

47. Turn off the television/video games/computer; they’re time consumers

48. Don’t engage in office politics

49. Refuse to gossip, or talk behind other people’s backs

50. Do the dishes right after dinner

51. Never go to sleep angry

52. Ask nicely for what you need and want

53. Walk 10,000 steps per day to help your heart

54. Do 20 push-ups before speaking in anger

55. Leave work at work

56. Don’t befriend anyone who isn’t trustworthy

57. Don’t envy others

58. Have your oil changed

59. Take vitamin C BEFORE you catch a cold

60. Don’t work more than 8 hours per day

61. Weed your garden weekly

62. Wash your car weekly

63. Have a spring cleaning month every year, and do one room at a time

64. You don’t need to be best friends with work colleagues, but build respectful partnerships

65. Don’t drink and drive

66. Don’t look for reasons to be angry or sad, look for reasons to be happy

67. Be friendly with your neighbours

68. Return emails and phone messages promptly

69. Schedule in free time

70. Don’t procrastinate

71. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it

72. Be more flexible when you’re able to be

73. Forgive and forget — end of story

74. Break the consumerism habit…put a three month moratorium in place on buying anything not deemed a necessity

75. Start your diet on September 1, rather than January 1, so that you won’t also have holiday pounds to lose

76. Take care of any health issues or concerns

77. Have your tires rotated

78. Have your brakes checked

79. Have your eyes checked

80. Don’t let your imagination run away with you

81. Let go of perfection in others

82. Let go of perfection in yourself

83. Don’t try to help those that refuse to help themselves

84. Find a way to reduce your commute to work

85. Have an alloted amount of worry time per day/week, that you strictly abide by

86. Drink more water

87. Eat more salmon

88. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill

89. Wear your hair in a classic, easy to care for style

90. Finish what you start

91. Wear classic clothes and shoes that never go out of style

92. Create a daily routine

93. Have a 1, 5, 10 and 20 year plan for your financial and life goals

94. Slow down

95. Eat out less often

96. When you ask your husband which outfit looks best, thank him for his answer and wear the one he liked rather than focusing on why he didn’t like the other one

97. Allow your children to grow up

98. Clean out your garage, and donate anything that hasn’t been used in the past year

99. Stretch every day

100. If a relationship is over, let it go

A handful, eh? Some were hard to read and process. Still, I need to pay attention. Are you following most of these?