I recently had an ongoing email conversation with a friend; we were trying to sort out an issue that required some back-and-forth contact. In it, he mentioned that he didn’t like email because it was hard to decode; it could sometimes be ambiguous or misleading.

I beg to differ — sort of.

I submit that ambiguity in email is not email’s fault, but rather, the fault of the writer. That sounds a bit harsh, I know, but really — if you are going to say a thing, you need to say it with clarity and with the appropriate tone. Email (or journaling/blogging) is the perfect practice ground for doing exactly that.

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One of the most pervasive problems I see in my high school is poor writing skills. Gone are composition courses at the middle school and high school level. No more spelling tests after the 8th grade. “Writing Workshop” classes are nowhere to be found. Teachers have to struggle to cram all the information they can into a short time in order to get the students ready for standardized tests. It’s a bigger problem than you might think. What’s the saying about every action having an equal and opposite reaction?

I know people with masters degrees who couldn’t diagram a sentence at gunpoint, or who honestly don’t know the difference between their, they’re and there. Some may say to me (and have said to me), “So what? It’s just a word.” Wrong, sir. As I’ve likely ranted here before, I believe that how a person writes reflects how he thinks. Not that you have to be all English professor all the time (that would be boring), but cripes, when you have a serious thing to say, don’t munge it up by using horrible grammar. Learn the parts of speech, fuh cryin’ out loud.

The Good Book says that whatever we sow, we shall also reap. That means if we don’t teach our kids to express themselves in a cogent and intelligent manner when they are children, what will the business and professional world look like when they are grown and leading our country? That, my friends, is what I mean when I post my favorite graphic:

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Ok. <<straightening hair and skirt>> Where was I? Oh yeah. Email.

I think email is a great exercise in learning how to communicate in writing. Instead of saying, “Ah, I’d rather just call or talk in person,” try writing. If you can’t seem to say what you want to say, keep working. Use trial and error. Revise; edit. If you’re a terrible typist, there’s no time like the present to practice.

Please try not to think of me as overly critical. I have plenty of personal work to do, so I ain’t no stone-thrower. I just worry about a nation of leaders with an innate aversion to punctuation, and who can’t do much more than write text message shorthand.

Writing a nice, sizable email (or a blathering, bloviating blog post like this one) is good for you. Now take your medicine. There’s a good luv.

Mama Fink

…but we can’t yadda-yadda. Do you ever say that? I guess it’s an outdated phrase. I remember when everyone said it. I like to say it, because so many things in this world just make me mad. Here’s a short list:

Annoying Things

• DayQuil packages that require hedge trimmers to open
• Always – always – choosing the checkout lane where I end up behind someone who has an issue, which takes 15 minutes to resolve
• The fact that hot dogs (in general) come in packages of ten, but the buns come in packages of eight: a classic case of “Hey, let’s bait consumers into buying more crap – they’ll never notice!”
• People who work a lot less than I do, but make a lot more money
• Cigarettes and alcohol are open for anyone to purchase, but my Claritin-D is behind the pharmacy barrier and I have to wait in line and ask for it specifically because it’s potentially dangerous
• The fact that many people in very high places do not know how to write a simple, complete sentence
• American Idol
• People who say, “I don’t use email. I prefer face-to-face contact.” (Insert slapping noise here.)
• The fact that every time I wash my truck, it rains
• When I go to Wally or the pharmacy to get one specific thing….and they’re out of it
• The knowledge that after my show closes, and the adrenaline which has been keeping me alive and functioning on 4 hours of sleep per night drains away, I will become horrifically ill
• The niggling fear that after I’ve spent 2 years and $40,000 on a doctoral education, I won’t pass the exit exams
• That my sacred, never-to-be-messed-with daily blog time of 5:15 – 6:00 a.m. goes by way too fast

Annoyed, but not down yet,

RF