Is it just me…

…or is there anyone else in the world who thinks clowns are decidedly UNfunny?

Be honest. Have you ever laughed at a clown’s antics? I mean, really, look at this photo. Is that remotely humorous? Ok, maybe remotely, but certainly not anything close to roll-on-the-floor-and-grab-your-tummy hilarious. And before you accuse me of reaching inside your soul and strangling your inner child: I know “clowning” is considered an “art.” They even have a Hall of Fame you can actually visit.

There are also clown colleges. One (in Ohio, of course), advertises that they serve anyone who “seeks the way of the clown.” (website now defunct)

Seeks the way of the clown. How very Master Po.

Even as a child I didn’t laugh at clowns. Not even at Bob Bell — aka Bozo the Clown — with whom I spent weekly quality time via WGN-TV in Chicago when I was a kid. Rather, I watched Bozo’s Circus for the prize giveaways and the cartoons.

What is inherently funny about your standard clowns? Call me crazy, but they strike me as being a little…I dunno…creepy. Suspect. As if they’re putting on makeup to hide the monster beneath.

It’s possible that this guy ruined clowns for me for life. It by Stephen King was the scariest novel I had ever read, until recently. Quoth Mr. Pennywise to a group of terrorized adults:

I’ll kill you all. I’m every nightmare you’ve ever had. I’m everything you were ever afraid of.”

Super.

[Know what else? I hate balloons. Hate ’em. They’re floaty, evil things. Bombs, waiting to go off.]

I know someone (*cough*STONEY*cough*) who freaks out at the mere mention of clowns. Johnny Depp (insert angel chorus here) used to have nightmares about them. I’ve seen small children shriek in terror at parades and festivals and street fairs when clowns attempt to approach them. So why are they consistently tied to wholesome, family fun?

Circus (acrobat) clowns are an exception. Many of them are talented athletes who are not funny, but extremely entertaining. It’s the ones who look, well, dirty, with their smeared-on theatrical makeup (called, fittingly, “Clown White,” which makes the whites of their eyes look jaundiced) and bleeding, feathered red lipstick that make me feel all ooky.

Bottom line, clowns just remind me of this.

Fink (looking) out (the window for balloons that may be sailing by).

Photo credits: torontoist.com; best-horror-movies.com

American Progress (?)

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I happened to go to history.com this morning, just for the heck. I was reminded of the fact that long before Hillary Clinton seized the nation’s interest (and considerable support) as the first woman to ever even get close to winning her party’s nomination for president, there was Geraldine Ferraro.

She advanced further than Hillary — and this was 23 years ago, which made it no small feat. Unfortunately, she had a mediocre running mate (Geraldine was actually the vice-presidential candidate), and back then, no one could challenge Ronald Reagan and expect to come out on top. Still, it was a historic choice indeed.

But it got me to thinking, which is always dangerous. As I named a few great leaders I could think of off the top of my head, I realized that several of them were women. Women leading entire countries…but not the US. Why?

Anyway, these three powerful female leaders came to my mind:

Elizabeth I. During what we now call the “Elizabethan Age,” this young queen took Britain from poverty and isolation to success in commerce, the arts, and politics. Sure, she had help and advisers, but what leader didn’t/doesn’t? In a time when women were considered far from equals to men — nothing even close to it, actually — Elizabeth ruled with smarts and bravery, even in the face of blatant plots by rivals to assassinate her.

[This made the question of why women can’t seem to get elected to lead America all the more interesting. What’s the drawback? Puritan influence still haunting us after almost 400 years?]

Indira Gandhi has long been considered one of the most powerful leaders in history, male or female. She led the largest democracy in the world (India) and championed many causes for individual and religious tolerance and non-violent conflict resolution, while maintaining a confident presence in dealing with other world powers. She definitely had problems holding on to her office, but she still serves as an inspiration to women — especially Indian women, who had endured centuries of what we would call persecution at the hands of men.

And sadly, it was at the hands of the men Indira Gandhi trusted most — her bodyguards — that she became a martyr. They shot her down in her own garden on 31 October, 1984.

Trained as a research chemist and married with boy and girl twins, Margaret Thatcher began her political career in 1959 with her election to Parliament. She was the first woman elected Prime Minister in any European country, and the people elected her twice. She ranks #5 on the all-time longevity list of Prime Minister terms in office (the first one was arguably Robert Wolpole in 1721) at 11 years.

She proved to be a formidable opponent in the Falkland Islands invasion of 1982 (the Argentine invaders surrendered to Britain within two months), and never lost a step to the other two “big boys” in the world power structure; both Ronald Regan and Mikhail Gorbachev admired, respected and befriended her.

I found a quote from her that makes a whole lot of sense:

“If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.”

A lot of teachers could take that as heartfelt advice. But I digress.

The above is just a partial list, but you get the point. Why is it that other countries have no problem with electing woman leaders, but the US just can’t bring itself to do it? Props to Barack Obama & all, but let’s face it: he’s inexperienced and an unknown. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And like it or not, people (especially Americans) are habitually loyal to what they know; the things in their comfort zones. Obama is definitely a stretch.

So again…why can’t a woman get elected to lead a country that prides itself on being an open, relevant, current, progressive world power?

Questions, questions, and so little coffee in my mug…

Fink out (to the kitchen).

This just in

Fond memories of the burning map

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I was never much for westerns on television (that was Mavis’s department), but I did love watching Bonanza — mostly because I loved Little Joe. (Who didn’t?)

The opening credits (complete with the Cartwright men approaching on horseback, and the burning map) combined with the theme song are among my most vivid TV memories growing up.

Somehow, I ended up at a Bonanza tribute site this morning and did some interesting reading about the cast and episode subjects.

I loved Lorne Greene’s white hair and deep voice, and Dan Blocker (middle son, Hoss, whose “real” name was Eric, for your information) was cute in a big ol’ dopey kind of way. Little Joe, of course, played by Michael Landon, was every girl’s favorite. He enjoyed a huge career (later producing, writing, directing and starring in the long-running series Little House on the Prairie) that lasted until his death in 1991. His first leading role was as the unfortunate lycanthrope in I Was a Teenage Werewolf in 1957. I saw that movie on TV.

Turns out Pernell Roberts, who played eldest son Adam Cartwright (and always dressed in black, which made me suspicious of him), was unhappy with the whole production — funny how we can be all up in a snit while tens of thousands of other actors are without work. Anyway. He called Bonanza “junk TV.” His character was written out of the show. I can’t remember how.

Dan Blocker died in 1973, and Greene in 1987. Roberts is still alive and working.

Interesting facts:

Michael Landon was the only one of the four Cartwrights who didn’t wear a hairpiece. Heh.
The men always wore the same basic outfits, in case producers needed to use footage in other episodes.
In the original script, the ranch was called “Panamint.” [Panamint?] Thankfully, a secretary at NBC suggested “Ponderosa,” for the pine trees Ben Cartwright supposedly loved.

They don’t make TV westerns like Bonanza anymore. I look at pictures of the set now, and think how fake it appears, but back then, I was in the moment, believing it all to be quite real. Childhood (along with suspension of disbelief) is a good thing.

Fink out.

Sources: BonanzaWorld.net, WikiPedia, Museum.tv

No good deed goes unpunished

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It’s an interesting story, and unfortunately, completely believable on all sides. So what really happened to the Tucker Automobile Company?

Preston Tucker (1903-1956) was a car nut and entrepreneur who wanted to cash in on the post-World War II glut of factories and steel being sold off at a discount by the US government.

His mission: build a car that would be sporty, powerful and affordable. He hired a designer and gave him exactly one hundred days to come up with an idea.

What ensued was a period of what could be seen as Teslian setbacks; that is to say, the man had some innovative ideas that presumably posed a threat to the “Big 3” automakers, like rear-mounted engines, disc brakes and fuel injection. Many think that Ford, GM and Chrysler conspired to shut him down. If that was the case, they succeeded. He was out of business in little more than 2 years.

The story centers around this car: the Tucker 48. Of the 51 made, 47 still exist and are on display all over the country. [This one is at the Blackhawk Auto Museum in Danville, California.] Click the photo for a better view.

In order to raise cash, Tucker sold parts, accessories, and even dealership franchises — before the car was even in production. Somebody tipped off the Securities and Exchange Commission, and the investigations began. [A version of the story can be found here, interestingly, at the Henry Ford Museum site.] Tucker was indicted but acquitted. The shame of it is that it was all too late; by the time he was declared innocent of any wrongdoing, his company was bankrupt.

He died of lung cancer a few years later, while working on a new design to be produced in Brazil.

There have been several theories postulated about what transpired behind the scenes. Why is it that the newspapers knew about Tucker’s SEC indictment before he did? Why was he reportedly able to trace money and influence relating to his demise back to Big 3 higher-ups? Why he didn’t go for broke and name names in this open letter to the public in the New York Times, I don’t know. [Ok, there is that little issue of slander.] Confusion persists to this day about the whole affair.

Years ago, I remember seeing a movie called Tucker: the Man and His Dream, with Jeff Bridges in the lead role. I can’t remember a whole lot about it, except that it was a Francis Ford Coppola thing. I might need to rent it. What I do remember is that Tucker was depicted as a victim, and indeed, maybe he was. The SEC had egg on their faces because they couldn’t produce a shred of evidence against him. But if the prevailing conspiracy theory is true, they got what they wanted, which was Tucker out of the picture, and out of the hair of the auto makers whose money lubricated the machinery of more than a few Washington offices.

So there you have it. Another story of a regular guy, trying to make it in this world by building a better mousetrap, only to be cornered and choked by Big Brother. Or not. Still, it’s interesting reading. I might try to find a book about him.

Speaking of books — I just finished the first book in the “Anita Blake” series by Laurell K. Hamilton. Ka-reepy.

Fink, enjoying this rainy Wednesday morning.

Rockin' the Bourgeoisie

Your friend Rat Fink fires the neurons at random