Too much, maybe?

So I lost my mind a bit. OK, a lot. All right…completely.

J’ever experience something that just keeps eroding your sanity ever so slowly, like the effect of water against rock over a million-year time span? Eventually, all that’s left is bare naked nerve endings, and you break like a ginger snap. That kind of happened to me.

Maybe it’s the ongoing deranged senselessness of CCSS and HST in my life and in the lives of my students and colleagues that pushed me over the edge of the Cliff of Insanity; maybe it’s Dinner Theatre madness. Maybe it’s my ridiculous schedule which keeps me away from my grandchildren. I don’t know what happened, but a bell rang and school was out and teacher lost her poop. What was the trigger? you ask. What horrible tragedy befell you? Oh, this:

Every day, I get an email from Groupon, with fantastic deals. 1,000s of deals. It’s always bothered me, that mistake. For a long time, I did my best to just ignore it. After all, it’s an email, people. Seriously. Worry about important stuff. But remember the water-against-rock thing? Seems the moon went into the seventh house, and Jupiter aligned with Mars, and then big bang. I went to Groupon’s customer feedback page and wrote thusly:


Please, please, PLEASE fix the gargantuan grammar mistake in ALL of your emails! It makes you look like idiots!

It is NOT: “We’ve got 1,000s of deals every day.”

You either have “1,000 deals” or you have “THOUSANDS of deals.” You NEVER have “one thousands of deals,” which is what your current graphic says, and which, as you most certainly can see, makes no sense whatsoever.

Please fix this glaring error for those of your customers who value proper professional business copy.

L. Jackson


Now I ask you: Why the need for so many CAPITAL LETTERS? I actually HATE IT when people overuse that device, and I used it FIVE TIMES in one message. What’s wrong with me? I’m not a meanyhead, and I try to never make folks feel bad. Am I cracking up? And to make matters worse, I received this kind reply:


Hi Linda,

Thanks for sharing your feedback with us. I’ll be sure to pass your suggestion on to the right people.


Satheesh T
Groupon Customer Support


Oy. Rant like a loon, then read a courteous response. Way to crush an ant with a Panzer. Boot to the head.

On a brighter note: I have a wind chill day off school, so at least I can tackle the carload of work I brought home. Maybe I’ll see if I can escape for a bit to go out and visit the Js, too, and perhaps stop by and see Mavis, if she’s up to looking at my face.

OK, off to work. No more insanity from me today, I promise.

8 thoughts on “Too much, maybe?

  1. David

    The grammatical error I see and hear all the time here in this cowboy town is “There is…There are,” “Is there any coyotes up yer way?” Can sort of drive you crazy.
    I was checking weather this morning in places where someone I love lives and came away thinking how radically our weather has changed over the last two decades. Not sure how you can teach with any continuity when you have these countless “snow days” and now a “wind chill day.” Stay warm and safe, Spring will be here soon, someday, we hope!

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      Oh I hear that a lot out here in the boons, too. I’ve been told over the years to not get too upset about people mangling our language, but I can’t help it. Some folks hate express lane abusers; others want to pound people with bad subway etiquette. Me? I believe that at least in some measure, our language defines us as a culture. It’s one of the few things that instantly tells the world we’re Americans. It’s precious and should be preserved, but many don’t care. I do. So sue me! :-D

      Ah, continuity in teaching…what’s that?!?!

  2. Mavis

    I remember sending Channel 5 News in Cleveland a similar email. All of their reporters were talking about “viguals” being held for certain missing persons. I emailed them and told them that I was *pretty* sure there is no such word. I said they probably are meaning, “vigils”. I was so annoyed with constantly hearing them say that word, I told the producer that it makes the reporters sound stupid. :-/ I did receive and nice reply, though, and was told he would change that immediately. Not long ago, I heard a reporter on GMA say the exact same thing! I give up.

    I’m a lover of winter weather, but this stuff is ridiculous! All the ice in my driveway can’t melt because of this frigid cold! I’m actually looking forward to Spring. Stay in and stay warm, Bird!

    1. Rat Fink Post author

      You, looking forward to spring?? You know something’s amiss when that happens! We’ll have to hold a vigual for you!! lol

      That reminds me of something else I’ve heard reporters/anchors say that makes me crazy: nuptuals.

      1. Mavis

        :D You’re a hoot, Bird! LOL

        I know! I’ve heard that “nuptuals” thing, too. ARG.

        Yeah, you KNOW it’s too cold when Mavis wants Spring to appear! My creaky old bones have had it!


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