Monthly Archives: December 2008

It is here.

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Whilst I take a day off to deal with the monster in my living room, here’s something for your listening and dancing pleasure:

Shrek the Musical (???)

The Thriller and I were talking last night about Rod Blagojevich‘s hair. It got me to thinking about other politicians who needed a tonsorial adviser.

Is there a link between bad hair and corrupt politics? Nah. But it was entertaining to revisit the case of former Ohio Representative James Traficant, currently serving 9 years for corruption and misuse of federal funds.

Only in Ohio. I mean, the guy is 100% certifiable. He shouldn’t be in the joint; he should be in the loony bin. The picture at the right was on his Congress homepage, fuh cryin’ out loud. A Washington representative, featured in an animated gif file of a bouncing two-by-four, saying “Bangin’ away in DC.” HA.

But it’s a sure bet he provided some great theater (and more than a few laughs) for his colleagues in Congress. Some great Traficant quotes from the Congressional floor and from his trial in 2002:

When I get out [of prison] I will grab a sword like Maximus Meridius Demidius, and as a Gladiator, I will stab people in the crotch.

I want you to disregard all the opposing counsel has said. I think they’ve had something funny for lunch in their meal. I think they should be handcuffed, chained to a fence and flogged. And if they lie again, I’m going to go over there and kick them in the crotch. Thank you very much.

If that is not enough to compromise your Viagra, the United Nations has created a world court with universal authority and jurisdiction. Unbelievable. What is next, a world tax? Beam me up.

Beam me up here. It is time to tell these crybaby IRS thieves that we are going to pass a 15% flat sales tax and abolish them altogether. I yield back what should be the next endangered species in the United States of America: The Internal Rectal Service.

I am not making this up, swear. Actually, some of the stuff Traficant ranted about actually made sense. But it doesn’t change the fact that he is indeed a wackjob. He ran for another term from jail (he didn’t win). Word on the street is that he has taken up drawing, and is quite good at it. Good for him.

I for one am particularly interested in witnessing Jimbo bust the promised “Maximus Meridius Demidius” move. That will make for great television.

OK, back to reality (come with me, Jim). See you on the other side of tonight.

Fink out.

Sunday stuff

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Happy Sunday — Hey, here’s something funny to start your day: The Browns are on Monday Night Football tomorrow.

Heh.

So the Thriller went out last night and picked up some of Jakey’s presents. (Clicky)

Just as I predicted…Tonka stuff (recommended for ages 3+), similar to what the Thriller used to play with back in 1955. I think it’s fabulous, though. He’ll love them. Jakey, I mean. And did you know that “Tonka” means “great” in the Sioux language? Well, now you do.

Sam, I will check out the Mozart thing, thanks! And Michael…read your email about the drumset idea…

OK, a rant for today. Unfunded mandates are the bane of public education. And sometimes, they’re just dumb.

First let me say that I feel awful for the family of little Jarod Bennett. I cannot imagine in my most ghastly nightmares the horror of losing a child. As a result of Jarod’s terrible accident at school (when a folded-up cafeteria table wobbled and fell on him, killing him), former Ohio governor Bob Taft signed into existence Jarod’s Law in 2005.

I don’t have a problem with enacting safety laws for schools. I mean, I completely agree with having cafeteria tables chained to the wall when not in use. I completely agree with not allowing students to move TV carts or computer stations or whatever. Not a problem with me.

However…

As a result of Jarod’s Law, we now have to fill out MSDS forms on everything in our classrooms. And I mean everything, including, but not limited to:

  • Dry-erase markers (because kids could mistake them for lollipops and start sucking the ink out)
  • Lotion (because kids could mistake it for Gatorade)
  • Anti-bacterial hand cleaner (because students could mistake it for Visine)

We (teachers & administrators) are further insulted by the law’s admonishments that:

  1. Coffee pots be placed in areas that are not easily accessible to students
  2. Classroom exits be clear of debris and trip hazards
  3. Rooms containing dangerous chemicals be locked when not in use

Some have said that the law was necessary, because people are innately stupid and if there’s no law to remind them to use their brains, they won’t. Well, I submit that the mere existence of law does not necessarily make adherence a no-brainer. (Ya think??) I mean, come on. What happened to common sense? If you have sulfuric acid in your room, don’t leave it out on the counter top when you go to lunch. Do they not teach this in chemistry classes?

It’s truly sad that people will put $10 in petty cash in a locked safe, but leave dangerous folded-up cafeteria tables out where elementary school kids can play on them. **Side note here: why are kids playing on folded-up cafeteria tables in the first place? Why are they unsupervised in the cafeteria?** I guess that’s the reality behind Jarod’s Law. So it’s come to this. We have to legislate basic cognitive functions. Yark…I need a drink.

Speaking of chemicals: the chemistry teacher at my high school told me that his MSDS forms folder is over 300 pages long. And what does updating one’s MSDS folder entail? Looking up (and many times, not finding) the exact name brand of your bottle of rubbing alcohol or white board cleaner, printing out the MSDS safety sheet on it, punching a hole in it, and putting it in a plastic binder so you can display it when the Jarod’s Law people come to inspect your room twice a year.

So what am I doing today? The Thriller and I are going to my classroom to make sure everything’s in order for tomorrow’s inspection. We’re cleaning out cabinets and storage spaces, and I am removing every ounce of hand lotion, hand sanitizer and Windex that I ever stored anywhere in my room. I have my generic MSDS forms already in their display folder; I will play the good little soldier and do what I’m told tomorrow for when Big Brother comes to inspect.

And did I mention Jarod’s Law is yet another unfunded mandate by the state government? (Translation: the state legislature makes up new crap, and the schools get to pay for it. No wonder nobody will ever pass another levy.)

And that’s all for today, because, well, I have to get ready to go to school. Nice. I know, I’m crabby. But after tomorrow night, you’ll see a new me, promise!

Fink out.

Shopping, shopping…

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I went to bed early last night; much to do today and tomorrow. Ugh. Not looking forward to the chores, with the exception of shopping for Jakey’s Christmas gifts.

The Thriller has many ideas for Jake, most of which involve nostalgic toys that he thinks are cool. I’m excited to see what he’s come up with, since he has chosen to keep all these ideas a big secret.

I really think he’s just afraid that I’ll choose something too girly. Now why would I do that? My only worry about the Thriller’s choices is their age-appropriateness. I can see him schlepping down the aisle at Toys ‘R’ Us with a motorized Hummer.

I’m looking for stuff for a 15-month-old boy. Any suggestions out there? He already has a ton of clothes, and other family members are getting him books, so I don’t think we’ll go that route this time. I know he really won’t care if it’s big or little (nor will his parents), but I want something unique. Hmmm.

Fink out (shopping).

TGIF III

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At least I think I’m happy it’s Friday. Kind of wish it was *last* Friday so I’d have another week of rehearsal, but…

I’ll apologize again today for seeming to ignore emails — as soon as the insanity dies down, your inbox will once again fill up with Finkness; so much so, that you will want to get rid of me.

OK, so. The TV doesn’t look bad at all. Here’s my effort to take a photo of it in action. Somehow I don’t think my little Casio 6MP Exilim (as much as I love it) was up to the task of capturing the picture in all its HD glory in a dark room, but here it is. I thought it would take up much more space width-wise, but as you see, it appears to be quite manageable.

I actually like it. I might learn to love it, even.

All right, enough about the television already. That’s done. In other news:

  1. Do you have all your shopping finished?
  2. Tonight, I shall have dinner with a friend, then go to the basketball game. (First home game – go Trojans) I think I need a night to not think about choral music and logistics.
  3. Picture this nightmare: Decades of irresponsible, gluttonous management perpetrated by self-appointed royalty of multi-billion dollar corporations (and labor unions) spirals out of control, leaving the country on the brink of economic collapse. Then they raise the white flag and beg the government to make it all go away, but Congress can’t agree on how it should be done. So the freefall continues, dragging Wall Street, the nation’s employment hopes, and general morale down with it. Imagine such a horror happening in America.
  4. I didn’t get any Christmas cards sent this year. *sigh*
  5. Starbucks v. McDonalds – never thought I’d see the day. Although I must say that the last cup of coffee I had a McD’s was pretty darn good.
  6. Is there any state more screwed up than Illinois?

And now I’m out of reading time. Have a most excellent Friday.

FO

One, one and done

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Just gotta get through Monday, and I’m home free.

So much to tell you this morning. First, the concert! My little fiends did very well last night. Here are some shots a fellow teacher took of some krazy kwire kids…

More later — 6:54 and out the door.

Fink out.

PS – I watched Sweeney Todd on my new TV last night. I must admit…it was amazing.