It’s been a fantastic five days, meeting up with old and new friends, spending some much-needed time with the Thriller, and burying myself in jazz ed work for awhile. I just dropped off the earth, and while I missed writing to you, it was fun being in another world for almost a week. It drove the point home: it’s time for a cool change. I love my students, the community where I teach, and my colleagues — but I’m ready to write, bake, travel and be Grammie.

I’m ready to dist-appear.

Do you ever get that way? Ever resent the alarm clock, the routine, the long work hours? I do. But, as always, the boo-hoo is tempered by gratitude for a great job, family and friends to love, and the basic necessities of life. I know of people who have none of that, and I feel guilty for complaining. Then again, if I put all my snark on a grid, I think I’d find that the heaviest occurrence takes place during the start of a rehearsal run — much like I’m in right now.

I’ve been asked how I cope with the schedule I keep. Ha — it’s been so much worse than now. Remember two-three years ago, when I was teaching all day, rehearsing all evening, and then going home to study and write papers? Feh. This is nothing compared to that. And I don’t really think I consciously embark on a coping strategy, either. Rather, I just do it because it has to be done, and try not to think of the dark side. Maybe that’s coping. However, don’t get me wrong: I enjoy what I do. It’s actually been the one thing in my life that I’ve stuck with for what I would call the “long haul.” Honestly, I tire of a routine pretty easily, and tend to get distracted by shiny things. It has often amazed me that I’ve been at this for 19 years straight, without jumping ship because I wanted a new challenge. Well…the old wanderlust is rearing its ugly head. Would that I could just give in and take off in a new direction, but things like mortgages, school loans, cars, home repairs, the realities of life…they have a way of spoiling the drifter’s dreams. Flag them for intentional grounding.

Speaking of the ground — I need to hit it running. *pO0f* — she’s gone. 

Where have you gone? 

Fink here, posting from the Crowne Plaza in Columbus. Up since 3:30 and ready for another long day.

On the upside, I’ve seen some cool people and things so far. Too bad some of the stuff I really want to see takes place when I’m either in a meeting or working at the booth in the exhibit hall. Why can’t I just have everything I want?

This is the first time in quite a while I’ve attended this convention without the Thriller in tow. I reveled in the solitude of my room for about an hour — then I was like, OK, what do I do now? There’s no one to talk to. So before drifting off with the light, the Nook and the glasses still on, I watched Exporting Raymond on HBO. Very interesting and funny documentary about the creator of Everybody Loves Raymond taking his show to Russian television.

So today, it’s booth work, a couple of sessions and a concert. Best go try to find some coffee, because this diesel fuel they stock in the in-room coffeemakers just isn’t cutting it.

Am I snarky this morning? Do I have a fever? I’m not feeling like myself. Perhaps I need more music geekery to brighten my mood.

Ummm…maybe not.

FO

…over cafe mocha. No going back to sleep now, lemmetellya. HA

Well don’t you know, something woke me up at 2:07. Don’t know what it was, but going back to sleep — as much as I wanted to do it — wasn’t happening. Try as I might to turn off my mind, relax and float downstream, something (or things) kept getting in the way.

S’ok. I’m up now. It’s 4:30 and almost time to get ready for the day and rehearsal tonight. By bedtime, I will have been awake for 21 hours — awesome! I wish I had a Keurig to keep at school. Wait, no I don’t. After two cafe mochas yesterday morning, I was  about jazzed out of my mind. Zing! Haha. Stretched as tight as a drum head. Yeah, I should probably stick to decaf tea at the school house. Do the kids a favor.

Anyway, the overriding thought that kept me awake this morning was wishing that everything in my life was OK. It just can’t be that way, can it? Or can it? Seems when you look at the whole picture, no matter how positive and happy things are, there’s always that one issue that bugs the ka-rap out of you. So goes my early morning this day. Wishing I could fix that one thing, but not knowing how.

Gotta let that go.

But hey, guess what? Finkday comes two days early this week. Tomorrow morning, the Thriller drops me off in Columbus for OMEA convention, and picks me up Saturday noon, whereupon we will take off for a mini getaway till Sunday night. Much needed, given my schedule for the next three months.

So yay, no school for me tomorrow or Friday. And all the singers rejoiced.

Today’s wisdom: We cannot change what people think of us. They have to change it, and sometimes it doesn’t matter what we do to bring them around, they still won’t change their minds. I chase the bright, elusive butterfly of how to reconcile myself to it.

Wow, that was heavy. I really need to lay off the cafe mochas, yikes.

…a hundred to go.

Last night’s first Grease rehearsal was fun. It’s a fine cast, full of nice people who I’m sure will work hard. The pit will be a blast; I finally got my guitar player, and it will be fun to work with some colleagues (and #1 Son on drums) again. Rock und roll.

With craziness from now through the weekend with rehearsals, appointments and my muzik geek convention coming up, I am going to be one ratty fink. A little LINsanity of my own. Heh.

Happy Tunesday — I have to get this Root Touch-Up out of my hair. Ugh. /me hates gray. Does everyone (well, except Suzanne!) have Presidents Day off?