Category Archives: Everything Else

Rant-urday

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Well now, fiends, I am in a mood. I seethe, therefore I rant.

I positively refuse to believe this. But then again, not really. Because, sadly and embarrassingly, that’s what America represents. We are above nothing. This, to my horror, is a truly illustrative slice of our popular culture. This is what we think is quality entertainment; representative of our national identity — the stuff of time capsules buried beneath the Capitol building. We have to be ridiculously careful to never, ever misspeak in public for fear of legal retribution, but we can celebrate the insipid, cruel and ignorant things Matt Groenig writes, and cover it up by saying, “Hey, free country. Change the channel if you don’t like it.” Well, to that person I say, I DID change the channel and I STILL think you’re a stupid hick. HA! So there. Sue me for hurting your feelings. Next thing you know, Stewie from Family Guy will be on a postage stamp. Hahaha!! Aw MAN that would be awesome! Heh heh OMG that is hilarrrrious. Hey let’s go git us a bat and destroy us some mailboxes, k? We’re Amurricans and we got the Confederate flag and *bANg*

Unbe-friggin-lievable. But let’s see, what else…

Oh, this. (Of course it happened in Ohio, as so many national-news-making stupid things do.) Reminds me 100% of my childhood and young teenage years, enduring the Religion of No. No dancing, no card-playing, no rock and roll, no watching Ed Sullivan (Dad thought he was a Commie sympathizer), no reading Time (Dad: “It’s a Communist rag”), no walking into a place where they served alcohol (“What if Jesus came back and caught you in there?”), no smoking because God can’t look on it… no, no, no, no. If my dear father were here, I would tell him that I would have made him crazy with my rebellious behavior even if I was never allowed to attend that first junior high school dance. Furthermore, I don’t care where Ben Roethlisberger went to high school. Moreover, I like to use the word moreover. Get moreover it.

I resent my music ed exam. See, there are two parts to it, selected from a pool of four possible subject areas (philosophy; then quantitative, qualitative and historical research methodologies). Well, I failed the quantitative part, but my marks on the philosophy essay were listed as “high pass.” Yet, I have to take both parts of the exam over again. Not fair. They have earned my enmity. Right, I know…life ain’t fair so get over it. I’m trying, so GET OFF ME! Why do you have to be so CRITICAL???

*straightening skirt, smoothing hair*

Well now, that was nice. I feel better. I must say I’d better hurry or I’ll be late for my breakfast meeting with Jerry.

Hating everything and everyone (except you),

RF

Made ya laff

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Found this awesome PhotoShop contest on cracked.com. Hilarious. See if you can find what’s been “added.” Some are not so obvious…

And I hardly ever reprint a forwarded email. Most of them are of the ridiculous, easily-debunked variety. But this one (while *almost* true – there are several books with this information in them, although I’m not sure which ones contained these exact quotes) was hysterical. I have to reprint some of it.

Rarely does reading something make me laugh out loud, but this did. Thanks to my BFF Kay for sending it to me.

Things Actually Said in American Courtrooms

~

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

============

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you sh****ng me?

============

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height, and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or female?

WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I’m going with male.

============

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

============

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Blood pressure? Breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So then, isn’t it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes. It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

============

Made ya laff. :-)

FO

I guess it had to happen sometime

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182466_s

And yesterday was it.

For the first time in 396 days, I missed writing a blog post. I guess it had to happen; nothing is constant in this world. But you need to know that in order for me to miss writing for a day, the reason had to be major.

And it was.

Looking back on the last year, I’ve had some major stress in my life — much of which I have shared with my RtB fiends. But yesterday was an exception. That is to say, yesterday was consummately stressful. Had to be, right? Or I’d have written to you.

I won’t go into the details quite yet, but the wheels pretty much fell off. They might fall off tonight, too — before rehearsal ever begins. There’s some stress for ya, boys & girls.

So, what does one do when one is so incredibly stressed, there seems to be nowhere to turn? The answer: seek solace in things that transcend mere daily existence.

Yeah, that’s it. I feel better already.

Fink (stroking) out.

BoomR is a god

1 Reply

Ya know…

Your friends — they make you laugh. They understand when you’re upset, and rejoice with you when you’re happy. They commiserate on bad days, and celebrate with you on the good ones.

Then there are the times when your friends feel (sometimes from a great distance) that you’re stressing about stuff, and that you might need something to pick up your spirits.

Sometimes, your friends just make you grateful.

Look what Boom Boom sent me, all the way from Dallas.

Now friends, that’s a friend. BoomR, you are ab-fab – thank you so much! I love you! (Chocolate bars didn’t stay all pretty like that for long…)

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