Monthly Archives: May 2008

Don’t care what anyone says…

…Howard Stern is a misogynistic, ugly, lowlife bowl of pureed bile. How he got his own radio show in the first place is not worth a nanosecond of my research time, but whatever the reason, it’s lame.

And what’s more troubling is that the 18-30 male demographic thinks it’s oh-so-hip to like him. Lemmings.

Now, while any members of the aforementioned demographic who might be reading this giggle like school girls behind their fake Oakleys while they comb their mullet cuts in front of their Confederate flags which serve as window coverings, I will say that I am no prude. I don’t flush crimson at the occasional off-color joke. Nor am I a Femi-Knot See. I just find it ridiculously unfair that a white stand-up comedian who drops the “N” word in an adults-only night club gig is publicly vilified and threatened with bodily injury and lawsuits, while this Stern moron can spew his filth on open satellite airwaves with impunity and not get so much as a wrist slap.

The world is going straight to the devil.

His latest junior high prank involved singer Dolly Parton. He and his mewling, pathetic sycophants did some idiotic edit of her audio book (Remember those silly songs back in the 70s that spliced comments of famous people as “answers” to stupid fake interview questions? That’s the juvenile crap we’re talking about here. Hilarious.). In it, he depicts her as saying vicious and graphic things. She was humiliated, and went national to apologize to her fans. I hope she proceeds with a lawsuit. Not that it will stop him, mind…

It’s incredible: he always seems to find the dumbest people on earth. They gravitate towards him like a homing beacon. [Coincidence?] Case in point: a consummately stupid Connecticut teacher goes on the show and ends up having to resign at her school. Hope it was worth it, sweety. What a credit to the profession.

One good thing about him: decent rhinoplasty job. If only there was plastic surgery for the brain…

I’d give my real opinion as to why Stern takes such giddy glee in being a complete meanyhead towards women with brains, but this is a family blog.

On a lighter note….

Wanna see what happens when I catch a student writing “Wash me” on the tailgate of my truck?

HA – Sammy’s a good sport.

TGIF. Fink out.

I like these kids.

Last night, my middle school choirs gave their spring concert. Just when you think that 11-14-year-olds possess little more than the keen and often-practiced ability to suck the very marrow from your bones, they get up on stage and make art.

I often hear the question from audience members, “How do you get that sound out of those kids?” Well I must admit that I wish it were all about my sparkling mad skills, but alas, without these willing and talented singers, I got nothin’. I’ll go as far as to say that it’s a unique partnership of their great attitudes and innate talent, and my burning wish to live vicariously through them. Many of them think I don’t care much for them and that I’m pretty much a shrew/hag…guess I need to hone my interpersonal skills. But the joy I get from hearing them do something well is pretty much worth the half-hour drive and the low salary.

I’m looking forward to the high school concert on Monday, so I can envy their experience at singing great jazz and fine old spiritual and Broadway arrangements. Ok, I’m looking forward to it being over, too, so I can focus my full and enthusiastic attention on my Aesthetics and Criticism class. Joy and bliss.

Somebody shoot me.

Fink out.

RNF

Random Neuron Firings

  1. It’s 3:30 a.m. I’ve been awake since 2.
  2. I have a “To Do” list going for today. It already has eleven things on it.
  3. Ever feel like you’ve been maneuvered? Shafted? Smoked? Deceived? Backed into a corner?
  4. My new class started Monday. I hate it already. I am trying to adopt a good attitude, seeing as how I only have 2 more classes after this one to get through, but then I think about the qualifying exams that come after all the classes, and I am all over again nauseous.
  5. Jake is getting cuter every day.
  6. I’m going to a cookout on Friday night. There will be wanton silliness.
  7. eBay is behaving badly. You know what Lord Acton said about absolute power…
  8. Kay comes home on 7 June. Yay!
  9. I have a wedding to play, for which I am not ready, on 7 June. Boo.
  10. Be careful in whom you confide.
  11. Helen and Lars got me a cool Johnny Depp mouse pad for Mother’s Day. Are they great or what?
  12. I have a concert tonight. Please come.
  13. It is now 4:22 a.m., and I have 14 things on the To Do list from #2.

RF

Oh, dear.

I have to admit I laughed when I read some blog responses to the news that Dina Lohan had been presented with the The Mingling Moms Organization (????) Top Mom award. I’m not saying that Dina shouldn’t have it. Really. I mean, pounding down shots in a club with your underage daughter (as you do) isn’t that big a deal. Mom was there watching her, right?

Anyway.

Here are a few responses to the news, in their (largely) unedited form. Have to admit, I got a kick out of some of them.

“And President Mugabe of Zimbabwe will be recognized at the same dinner as the World Leader of the Year.”

“Give Dina Lohan a break, let us see you raise a beautiful talented star like lindsay who is loved all round the world. she is bigger than you think, and God bless lindsay, britney and hillary clinton. and god bless africa.”

“She can be joined on stage by Britney Spears mother as well. That would double the farcical non-funny muppets on the stage.”

“Ah, the new low standard to shoot for in parenting. It’s endemic in today’s society, though, this penchant for rewarding mediocrity. You see it on meaningless ‘feel good’ bumper stickers all the time (“My child is still breathing well at OurLocalGradeSchool”)…”

HAA — that last one’s a killer. Loved it.

The best quote:

Mingling Moms president Erica Logiudice called Dina “such a dedicated mom . . . Through all the ups and downs of Lindsay, she has been by her side.”

Well shyeah….who likes to party alone?

Holy hair extensions, Batman

Does anyone else think these look bad? Fake? Unattractive? (Click all the photos for larger views.)

Britney Spears is the worst offender. I mean, look at the short hair on top and the obviously tied-in junk. It looks wound so tight that her scalp could flipping dislodge at any second. It’s grotesque. And this is supposed to be “hot” right now? I think it just looks unnatural, and like the lady hasn’t washed her hair in weeks.
Same thing with Penelope Cruz. Ugh. Wash ’em, girl. They nasty.

Then there are the gals who apparently think it’s attractive to have a huge avalanche of hair appear to grow out from underneath their ears. I swear I don’t see the point of it. [Have you ever seen this from the back? It looks like a pair of ragged drapes, pulled back to expose a hairy neck.]

Then it’s the stringy look. Makes me crazy. I guess some people like it, but I think it shouts, “Hey, I’m wearing half a wig that I never brush.”

Disclaimer: Lord knows — and so do all my friends/family — that I have my hair issues. But I’m trusting them to tell me if I’ve gone too far, especially in the event I’d actually start buying more hair. I can hardly control what I already have.

Fink out.