Sorry, Stevie Nicks, but what exactly does that lyric mean? You could live to be a thousand and still not see the Seven Wonders. Why? Because only one of them actually exists.

As I was clicking through the Amazing Fact Generator at Mental Floss, I came across this factoid:

Of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, 3 fell due to earthquakes, 2 due to fires, 1 probably never even existed, and only one stands today—The Pyramid of Khufu.

I thought to myself: can I even name the Seven Wonders? So I came right to Finkville and opened up a new post without looking anywhere else. In all transparency, here are my guesses:

1. The Great Pyramids (well obviously)
2. Stonehenge
3. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
4. Um, lessee…those creepy, monolithic, huge stone face thingies on Easter Island
5. The Sphinx?
6. Yikes…
7. Moo.

eek. I’m dumm.

So now I shall research properly, if for no other reason than to retain the distinction of being your one-stop shop for useless tripe.

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World are:

#1. The Pyramid of Khufu. The first and largest of the pyramids at the necropolis in Giza, Egypt, this monument was erected for the pharaoh Khufu. Known as the Great Pyramid, it rises about 450 feet (having lost about 30 feet off the top over the years) and covers 13 acres. (Description courtesy CNN Destinations)

I thought the Sphinx was a separate wonder, but it’s just part of the necropolis. So I wasn’t all wrong, ja?

[But I was completely wrong about Stonehenge. If I’d read the factoid carefully, I would have noticed that it said that only one Wonder still exists. Helloooo.]

#2. The Colossus of Rhodes. It must have been a sight to behold: a 110-foot-high monster of stone columns, iron bars and bronze outer skin. It stood tall for over 60 years, until an earthquake toppled it in 224 BC. Cut Helios right down at the knees, actually. Ptolemy III offered to pay for its reconstruction, but an oracle was consulted and he advised against it.

#4. The Mausoleum at Halicarnassos. Built by Artemisia, wife of the ruler Mausolus in what is present-day Turkey, this tomb featured gorgeous friezes and sculptures. At 143 feet high, it stood over the city of Halicarnassos for some 17 centuries, until a series of earthquakes shattered the columns and sent the whole thing crashing to the ground. By 1404 AD, only the very base of the Mausoleum was still recognizable.

#5. The Temple of Artemis. The gods apparently did not want this structure to stand, as it was built three times and destroyed three times. Built in 550 BC in the city of Ephesus, it stood in honor of Artemis, goddess of the hunt. Some guy named Herostratus, who wanted his fifteen minutes of fame, burned the structure to the ground in 356 BC. It was rebuilt, then destroyed again — twice.

#6. The Statue of Zeus. Built at the city of Olympia in 435 BC, the statue was added to a temple in order to gussy it up a bit. Made of ivory, the gold-robe-draped Zeus had a wreath around his head, and held a figure of Nike, his messenger, in his right hand. The statue was later moved to Constantinople (modern-day Istanbul), where it was destroyed by fire in 462 AD. Of all the Wonders, it ranks third in longevity.

#7. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. This tale comes out of Baghdad, formerly the ancient city of Babylon. Many historians call it a myth. (Still, the Fink is not here to judge, but to deliver the goods.) According to legend, King Nebuchadnezzar wanted to build for his wife an amazing green retreat in the middle of the desert, so he had workers construct 400 square feet of garden, 75 feet above ground. Water from the Euphrates was carried up to irrigate the greenery — an act which almost certainly would have had a negative effect on the brick structure beneath, and therefore adds to the dubious nature of the story. At any rate, the “hanging” gardens likely did not actually hang; rather than being suspended, they were probably “overhanging” the wall edges, as depicted in the drawing. Chalk that up to faulty Greek translation.